All I think about is dying. Mydeath has been planned for over two years. I just needed the when. I recently started cutting again after years of quitting. I cutt several times a day and most times thats not even enough. I have trouble stopping once i start. I just keep going, deeper and deeper. I just cant stop. Ive been in therapy for years and you see how good its done. ive also been on numerous meds. its just useless. I dont see no hope for me. I dont want to bother anyone anymore. my therapist told me to call him if I need to but all hes going to do is admit me. which ive been in for countless admissions. look how good they did. i just cant do this anymore. i spent the whole day trying to stay busy. but my mind just kept right on going. planning, scheming. I cant take one more day.