• Hi - if you have tried to donate and found that it hasn't worked please can you hit me up in PM? (Freya) I am trying to figure out with paypal what the issue is and they are asking for more data. It doesn't seem to be affecting everyone. Thank you so much :)
  • Hi - It is possible that I have figured out part of the problem with the donations. I believe that if you try to use paypal balance or your debit/credit card that should work now. Bank transfer still seems glitchy. If you try with a card and it fails please can you let me know? Fingers crossed that part is resolved though. Thanks so much for the support - Freya

One more silly thread

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I'm frustrated.

With myself, the situation, what I am doing, what I have done, what I am living through.

Its no ones fault, simply my own. No one can share blame. I take full responsibility.

This one person who has believed in me doesn't deserve what I am doing.

Its not fair to them, how I could I do this? How could I think this way?

For someone who has given me their life, to think about leaving the earth as they are dying?

For someone who has trusted me, this is how I return that trust?

Its disgusting, I am disgusting.

I don't want to feel the pain from my past anymore.

I don't want to feel the physical reactions to those thoughts.

I don't want to relive those times over and over.

I don't want to feel such disgust at things I was part of.

I don't want to feel so insignificant.

I don't want to have to watch you die.

I don't want to see your pain.

I don't want you to know Im not sure I can handle all of this.

I don't want you to know how scared I really am.

I don't want you to know how bad a person I really am.

I don't want to hurt you.

I don't want to be here without you.


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Sounds like you need someone to talk to.
A counsellor or therapist could help with putting the past in the past and help you deal with what's going on right now.
Go see your doc and ask for a referral.
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