One more time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mpang123, Jun 16, 2013.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I think if I attempt one more suicide act, I really will die. Therefore, I fight my thoughts and urges to kill myself daily. I wish I had a plan, but I don't. That's probably meant to be. I believe in Divine Intervention because last time I almost died and experienced an out-of-body episode and seeing bright lights with my family's faces saying "hello" to me. I don't know much of the interpretation, but I don't think I will survive if I do one more attempt. I am still tempted daily to kill myself, but I do distractions and grounding to keep me in touch with reality. As long as those work and other coping skills, I will be ok. I hope I will. Peace to everyone.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry for the struggle but impressed with strength and ability to care for others at the same time... be well and stay strong
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You keep talking here ok use this place to keep you grounded to keep you in reality i hope you know you are not alone now hugs
     
  4. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I've noticed you have commented to all my postings and gave me lots of support and insight to my problems. I appreciate your concern as with everybody else who has tried to comfort me. I think I was triggered by researching into out-of-body experiences and near death experiences. I wish I never did. Now I'm struggling with sabotaging everything I have worked for such as living in my own apartment for two years now instead of living in personal care homes for such a long time. I need to appreciate my independence which I fought so hard to achieve and I have been successful in keeping it for this long. Is it really worth sabotaging my wellness and even my life just so I can give in to my suicidal urges? I think not. I have been reading the Bible avidly lately, and I think the Devil is trying hard to tempt me to give up so he can claim my soul. I don't want to get religious, so don't take me wrong. I appreciate all your feedback. Look forward to the responses. Later!
     
  5. Lioness

    Lioness Member

    I really admire your strength in such a weak time! I feel very much the same, trying to stay alive each day. I find it hard to trust in God at times, but He shows His love just when I'm about to give up.
    If you read your bible, do you mind me giving you a verse? Read it if you want to ;)
    Psalm 91, John 16:33

    Keep your strength! xxx
     
  6. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Lioness, thanks for those scriptures. I learned from Psalm 91 that the Lord is with me always, even in my darkest times. He rescues me diligently everytime I fall off the deep end. He is forever faithful and I just need to trust in him that he will protect me from all harm. I also read the other verse, but I think I get the message. Thank you for your encouragement and support. Appreciate it much!
     
  7. Lioness

    Lioness Member

    I'm glad if it was helpful :)
    It's good to feel to still have a purpose in helping others.

    All the best to you!
     
  8. fallenangel

    fallenangel Member

    dear mpang123, i'm really glad that you are encouraged with the scriptures, and I pray that you will be be able to find peace and rest whilst seeking the Lord. there is no better wisdom than the bible itself, and i pray to God that he will have grace and mercy upon your life! =)

    hang in there buddy!
     
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