I've just done something that could really mess my life up. I was drunk, but that's no excuse. Now that my head is clear, the ramifications are all hitting home, and I feel that I'm standing on the edge of a cliff that could crumble beneath me at any moment. On Friday night, I got with another guy. We didn't have sex, but thats about all we didn't do. Now I'm worried about everyone finding out. Well, I'm more worried about their reactions than I am about them finding out. I'm not gay, I know that now. I am as attracted to women as I have always been, but what I did has left me with no doubt in my mind as to my sexual orientation. I don't regret what happened. Life is about experience and taking risks can make you feel more alive than anything else. What I'm worried about now is that my friends and family may not be as open minded, and will turn their backs on me. Homophobia is alive and kicking, and I think I may have just put myself in the firing line. I can't help but think that if I was female, the whole bi-sexual act would be better recieved by my friends. That's the male mind for you though I guesse. I have no idea what I'm going to do about this. Should I tell them what I did and hope for the best, or just keep my mouth shut and hope the other guy doesn't tell everyone what happened? He's a barman by the way, so he pretty much has everyone's ears who goes into the pub, and one of his best friends is the sister of a good mate of mine. What really makes me mad is that I've given this power to the guy, to influence certain factors of my life, and I have no control over the outcome. Please, any advice at this stage would be welcomed. I been taking double my meds just so I can sleep. I have really dropped the ball this time, and I'm bricking it.