One week to my final destination

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#1
In a week time I will go overseas and It will be my final destination, so let my story be a source of awareness and help to others, I think I have already helped others in tis website through private messages, so Im v happy about that.
How I got to this state..? well it is a long interesting story but I will keep short and in chapters.
Chapter 1: The beginning :losing the spark

How do you recover from emotional wounds? how come the people who tell u they love u, they hurt u and then they turn around and leave u in pain and loneliness. From there I slipped down into a pit of rejection and despair, soon that pit became so cold that my pain froze, my all emotions froze, I stopped feeling anything, nor sorrow nor love nor pain and I lost the spark inside which made me get up every morning to take over the world. I did try to reach out and I told some people about my suicidal thoughts but my words fell on deaf ears, so that just made me slipped further down in a darker pit where now only a body breathes, but does not live, does not feel emotions.
My body has no soul, has no heart has no passion and has no feelings anymore, it was all destroyed, it was all erased. The pit is too deep too dark too cold, and it is too late for me now, but not too late for some of you out there, reach out before you fall too deep, call your friends, family and love ones, let them know how u feel and dont be ashamed to call for help. Enrique
 

JRC2004

Well-Known Member
#2
Hey there Enrique,

Just back on this site after some months away. Feeling the darkness enveloping me again and your post seems to hit the nail right on the head of how I am feeling and more importantly where I am heading. I have the feelings of self-worthlessness, the questions on life and what is the point, the will to continue has gone, but for some reason I still feel a lot of guilt and responsibility for my actions. Not bad actions and not the act of ending it, but every day actions, things I say to people and things I do, but I just get too caught up on how things affect them and wrap myself up in knoots trying to please people and make them think good of me. It's trearing me up inside and even though i know we are walking teh same path, why do these things still affect me so much - when truth be told, the people I am talking about are somtimes on acquaintances and not even friends.
:huh:
 
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