One year today.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Marshmallow, Aug 11, 2008.

  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    So today is one year since she was murdered. The past few days leading up to this have taken it's toll. I had a breakdown a few nights ago and i gave into temptation. Not a little slip up. But i slipped up 50+ times. Now everytime i try to walk i'm reminded of what a fuck up i truly am. I'm actually handling it better than i thought i would.

    Theres so much built up anger in me and no matter what i do i never seem able to release it. I take it out on the ones closest to me. Hoping it will make me feel better inside. All it does is make me feel worse. I'm loosing people around me that i care about so much. Apart of me wants it to happen because knowing no one cares would make this so much easier but another part of me is dying inside.

    I want to take my anger out on him. I've met him a few times before he killed her. The day he pushed that knife into her chest over and over again changed us all. He ruined our lives. He took a beautiful person away from this earth. A strong woman. A woman who deserved all the good things in life. He not only took her life but he took her familys life. As Steph said in this i hope he suffers ever minute, every second of those 19 years. I hope he dies in that place and his daughters grow up and know what horrible monster their dad is. I feel sorry for the girls, their beautiful children and they've gotta grow up knowing what their dad did. Steph took those children in when they needed stability and this is how their family is repayed?!

    I might add to this later. I need to clear my head.
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :hug: to you viks. Anniversaries are so difficult sometimes. It was a horrible thing that happened. i am glad you can remember what a wonderful person she was. Hold onto that. She would not want you to harm yourself or anyone else for what happened to her. She would wish you to move on and continue to do good things for others in her memory.
     
  3. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    :agreed:

    Vikkers, am always always here if you want to talk to someone my lovely. great big hugs for you :hug: Keep strong, chin up. You'll get through this hun. It'll be hard, I know, but you're strong.

    :hug: Much :wub: :hug: Mel xx :hug:
     
  4. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    A day to never be forgotten. Sending much love to Sam. Been about a year since i met her. I loved her too <3

    R.I.P Mim and Diana <3
     
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    sorry this had to happen today babe

    guess neither of us will forget today eh :sad:

    love u loads babe xx