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One year

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by ali-wali, Nov 11, 2010.

  1. ali-wali

    ali-wali Well-Known Member

    I will never forget the days we had, paul. But one day has robbed me of thinking of our memories. The day I found out. I will never forget it. I will always be mad at you, but me wishing your were here is almost like me been selfish, as that is not what you wanted. I will not wish you were here anymore because I am tired of it I will simply wish your memories stay with me forever, and wish your family happiness and your little sister a life without pain. I have been to the place you were 'scattered' which makes me feel sick. I couldn't find the actual markings because there was no headstone I will go this week though if I can bring myself to get out of the house. The day you died I did too, Our circle of friends have forgotten about me. I am invisible to them all. I wish I wasn't but that's life. It's funny really the fact that I'm so mad at you for doing it but yet I am feeling the same as you were then. I feel for the traindriver and the passengers, and you for only living 17 years and falling at the first relationship hurdle. I've no idea why but I get so mad when she gets a new boyfriend, it's just the fact that you can't and you literally gave your life for her. But she is hurting more than I can even begin imagine. Rest in peace best friend, Get high, drink loads and say hi to grandad. Love you xxxx
  2. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    ali-wali im so sorry for your loss
    thats a very heartfelt post to paul and hope you can get through your feelings
    im sure him and grandad are watching you saying its your round to each other
    your not invisible here,
    ive shed a tear for you
  3. ali-wali

    ali-wali Well-Known Member

    Thankyou for taking the time to read my post :) Paul is still very loved and on other social sites it proves it. He was such a happy person, and very funny and cocky! I loved that about him. And don't shed a tear! I don't want people to be sad :( I just wish people knew how much heartache is caused by one persons life going. Whatever the reason we can all get through it right? xxxx
  4. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    we're trying to get through it right?
    from your post i can tell he was special to you cherish those memories ok.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I too hope you can let go of some of the pain i know it is hard He will always remain in others hearts he has touched I am sorry he had to leave so young.