So my depression has come back again, after a 4mth break. I thought I was doing really well: off medication, finishing up with my concellor, having fun, and feeling good in myself. I dont know what happened in the meantime for this to come back. Tbh, its left me in such a state of mind, Iam feeling so low and Iam really contemplating suicide. Iam tired of living my life in this this constant uphill battle. I ve ruined the most amazing friendship with a best friend due to my depression in the last week, which Iam grieving over. My family situation is not any better either. I dont have many friends to turn to either. My little dog is the only supportive companion that I have. Iam awaiting to be seen by therapists etc. On Monday Iam going to a crisis service. Iam starting to realise their is no end to the pain of depression. The last 11 years I have been struggling to overcome this pain. Despite working so hard to battle it and to keep it away. I dont know what to do anymore, I honestly can see the point of staying here after christimas. Iam so lost.