Online Friendships

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Aerial, Nov 1, 2009.

  1. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    If you suffer from social anxiety, do you find it easier to go and make friends online than to do it in person. How do you normally go about making friends online and has it helped much with making new friends? Do you ever want to take any of these friendships into real time? That kind of scares me a little.

    I'm am so not a club person and I hate going places with crowds, so that's out for me, at least for now. I also do not walk up to people out of the blue and start talking to them. I feel so awkward and stupid. It's nothing for me to ask the time or to inquire about where something is because it serves a direct purpose but social conversation is a danger zone. I don't know how to act!
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I really like online friendships. People are busy, live far away, it costs money that many don't have to do things. On top of that, it's hard for me to go out much.

    The people who do live close to, I communicate more with them online than I do in person. Having online friendships has opened up my world.
  3. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    I have found that online friendships are very helpful in dealing with my anxiety about interaction. Recently though I met a friend I met online in person and it only ended with me hurt as with any relationship I involve myself with.

    I only discourage meting online friends in person because of my own experiences, but certainly every situation is different. I do like talking to people online though, it does help in ways. Although some use it as an alternative to human interaction and that's where it gets a little tricky an a bit unhealthy-
  4. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I started making friends online in 2002, and became hooked because to be honest I had no idea how to make friends out in the real world! If your friends aren't people you met at school or college, people you work with, family or people you know through other people, how do you just go up to somebody, strike up a conversation and sort of 'suggest' you become friends?
    I'm not sure how it works in other countries, but here in London (where everybody is sooo unfriendly! lol) it'd sound kind of crazy and if someone had done that to me I'd wonder if they were all there.

    I started off just chatting to people via Email but eventually we met up and became firm friends from there. I can't knock it, I think it's a great way to make new friends and if you're feeling secure enough to handle the ups and downs that real life relationships with people can bring, then I say go for it.

    Sadly for now, I stick with online friendships. I'm not strong enough to handle being hurt by friends in person and I second what Pither said, it's just easier because although you do form a bond, the likelihood of forming that emotional connection isn't there.

    I also reckon once you make one new friend out in the real world it's a lot easier to continue making friends from there. I mean, although I said it's highly unlikely to meet people just by going clubbing and striking up a conversation, it does happen! When I was about 19/20 I met a few girls queuing up for a gig and we became friends, I've met people in toilets at bars and clubs and we just started chatting and became friends, I made a friend at the gym, I even made a new friend at the bus stop once. It's weird where you can find a new buddy! But I must admit it's genuinely fuelled by alcohol! As I'll swap numbers with people and say "yeah we should definitely go out sometime" and I'll look at my phone in the morning after sobering up and think "who the heck is Amanda?" :rofl:
  5. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I find it easier to make friends online
  6. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    NO !

  7. J_Oli3

    J_Oli3 Well-Known Member

    I cannot make friends any way but online. At the moment, it's literally impossible for me.
    I like meeting like-minded people online and hope to meet up with some, have only met one so far, but soon I may be meeting others. Exciting, but fucking scary LOL
  8. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    i have realy good friend online...its easier cos i feel more i can cut my friendship anytime if i feel hurt cos i dont give my adress, phone number, dont use web cam. or give any info about me...

    its so easy to me cos i find people like me only online...and i dont go outside at all...its also feel better cos somehow i can write my emo & feeling but i cant face to face or by phone...and online people respect me more...

    on the other hand, im always afraid to meet online friend outside/face to face...its scared me.. i did it before...but cos i imagin my online friend face and i feel it change when i meet them...or worse, if they dont like me anymore & stop chating with me if they see me...its scary..cant do it...

    anyway i love to make online friends, but i chat smart (by give NO info to reach me) i realy meet very good person that they are like me...and easly with one click i block them if i didnt like them with no regret or fear of rejection...
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Online friendships are nice. There's a few people that I talk to on skype that I don't hang out with in real life... but we'll talk for hours.
    Also SF is nice. I've made some friends here.
    I talk to people on facebook as well.

    It's really no substitute though for actually going to see someone. I'd much rather go hang out with a friend, even though my social anxiety is bad sometimes.
  10. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    Sounds very kosher. I'm able to be far more communicative with people than I ever could in person. At least at this point.
  11. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we didn't have the internet. I know what's it likes I mean because I remember when I wasn't on the "world wide web" as it used to be called, but think about now. What if there was no way to connect with different people in far away places and anonymously? I'd be the biggest hermit living in total isolation and not hardly speaking a word to anyone. I call up family members and I made some calls this week to update people I know on my affairs, but I don't tell them much. I don't want people worrying about me and I don't want people to know all of my fucked up shit. I don't really open up in person much at all. I know that's not good, but I'm trying and I'm thinking the best way to get warmed up is to get comfortable online talking to other people.
  12. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    Same here. I'm also usually very private and detached. I don't want most people in my life off the internet to know all of my issues. Here, I can open up and find some comfort.

    Gah, I sound so screwed up when I look at what I'm writing lately! How hard is it to communicate and open up, yet I struggle so fiercely with this. I feel handicapped like a mute.
  13. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    Are you saying no that online you're uncomfortable with talking to people? Bad experiences?
  14. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    Almost sounds like I wrote this myself!
  15. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    I can understand where you are coming from. I've never done that though. I've never blocked anyone. That's probably because I never made much use of social communities and messengers before now! Even now, I'm slowly getting the hang of it.

    Because I fear rejection, there's a part of me that fears being blocked or something because someone suddenly doesn't like me for reasons unknown. Like I'm not interesting enough. I know that sounds paranoid, but I thought about that when you wrote the above. I'm assuming you had good reasons to immediately block someone. Maybe they were harassing you or they were rude?
  16. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    sigh, my social anxiety is REALLY bad. I think I need to get treatment for it sometimes.
  17. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I've been doing online friendships. Not very satisfying... Between May and now I've had 3 social encounters IRL (coming from online encounters, actually), in July. Best I can do, though.
  18. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    Destroy what was left from me.
  19. Ranxerox

    Ranxerox Well-Known Member

    No, not really
  20. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    how r u
    yeah i fear so much of rejection....but cos its only on pc and not have so much info exchange, u dont feel connection bettween both of u & the fear of rejection reduce :)

    some people are rude, so as advantage of msg, u can block without fear of anything...

    dear, u r so likable and sweet, im so sure nobody will block u...people & I only block the people that are so rude & talk unappropriate...

    msg is safe for people like me & as person who dont like croweded places or busy to go far miles..

    take care :)