So im only 22, ive died 3 times when i was born, and had close calls over my years of living. But now with the way things go for me i cant take it... I work to the bone to satify my bosses and try to help out the company as much as i can, but in the end i lose my job and the lazy ones always keep theirs. Not only that, i have a "barrier" that is hard for me to let people in and know how i feel, i can never talk to anybody. I think about the end everyday and a part of me is scared. Ill never forget my friend who died at the age of 17, 4 years ago, i always ask "god" to take me away to hangout with him forever, but ill be waiting forever. And that same year i got dumped on my birthday and never cared for it since. being alone bothers me cause nobody is there to share with me.This forum is second to actually hear what kind of messed up mind i have. And i just dont know what to do anymore... I was worried the whole time writing this because of the negativity i would get back saying, "suck it up" or "you dont have a problem"