Only few will ever know

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rookie, Mar 15, 2016.

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  1. Rookie

    Rookie Active Member

    Some people experience mental illness, some understand mental illness and others will never understand what it is like... A battle within your own mind, a conflict, a war between knowing what you want, what you need and what is right for you...

    I cannot help but struggle at the moment with the conflict... What I want cannot be attained, what I need is something infinitely more complex, and what is right for me is to let go of it all...

    By let go, I mean to stop thinking about what I want and need, but I cannot see anything but darkness at the moment. The stress and struggle of work are overwhelming me. It feels like I am in a rowing boat in the middle of the south pacific ocean, with waves crashing all around me, my boat is rocking to and fro and I have no control.

    Life (the south pacific ocean) is steering me in whichever way it sees fit, and I just want some control back. Nothing drastic but I just want a bloody rudder to help me feel like I can control my direction.

    Sorry for the allegorical methaporisation of my mental state, but it is all that I can come up with.
  2. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    When it comes to feeling overwhelmed take it day by day and even hour by hour if you have to. You can do it. You are stronger than you think. As far as control, one thing you can control is how you treat and help others. You can be nice to people and show them that you care. When you help others it helps them AND you. It helps you to feel useful and productive and shows what you have to show for your life. You could volunteer at a local charity or donate to your local food closet. We and I will do everything we can to help you. Just believe in yourself. Find something you enjoy and focus on it. Get good out of each day. Music can help. Music is therapy. Like Shawn Mullins sings "everything's gonna be alright." And like Adam Duritz sings "it's the heart that matters most." And you have a GOOD heart. You can do it ! :) In Breathe, Anna Nalick is right when she sings "cradle your head in your hands and breathe, just breathe."Try to take it easy and think as positively as you can. Tell yourself everything is going to be ok. There is good to be had in life. We've got your back. :) hug
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    It was a beautiful metaphor! I think you described that battle very well.

    Do you feel people around you don't understand you? Have you tried to tell them what you just wrote here, because really that explained it beautifully.

    Are you getting help to steer you in the right direction? If you are but you feel like they aren't helping you enough, do you feel like you're being completely honest about it all? Maybe that would help you get the help you need to feel better!

    Sometimes it takes small steps to get back in control of your life, doing tiny things, getting small healthy habits.
    AdamTide likes this.
  4. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    Lady is right. Sometimes doing something as small as brushing your teeth on a regular basis or washing your hair on a regular basis can help. It shows that you CAN control yourself and your life. Small victories are still victories. "Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out."-Robert Collier
    sahel likes this.
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