everyday I wake up... not hoping to. it seems that's the longer I postpone the inevitable the worse I make life for others around me. my husband, who tries to understand what's going on but never will, is getting fed up with dealing with me. I can see it in his atittude. he's sick of my crying and drinking. he's upset with me because I haven't eaten in a few days, and now he thinks that I drink to piss him off. I wish it was that easy. I don't understand why he cares whether I start drinking at 7:00am or not. I really need to leave... I can't drown my sorrows in a bottle of booze much longer. I'm just going to end it in a bottle of pills. I wish I could do it today, I'm thinking that wednesday will be the date. maybe sooner, well see how long I make it. I guess I'm just hoping to not wake up one of these days, so then I won't have to worry about anything!!! I just have to keep telling myself it will be ovee soon!