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only ones

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#1
sorry, but if you read this i'm sure you've heard this story before, but this is the first time anyone has ever known a lil about how i feel, it seems like everyone here would understand, nobody else would, so thanks for listening.

I don't know why but since i was 12 i have thought about ending my life, i am now 20. I don't feel any different now, just more serious. but i think why do i feel this way, i lead a normal life. I'm shy and quiet, i get along with almost everyone mainly because it's hard for me to say what i really want to, but i just fuckin hate myself, i'd do about anything for anyone, but it seems like i mess everything up, and i'm getting tired of school. Motivation is pretty much non-existant, and sleeping is becoming my favorite past time. I don't see the point in life, i just really don't care about anything, i don't feel like there is anything to live for except for the fact that i wouldn't want my parents to go through that, the other night after getting drunk i tried to find out about over dosing on pills. Today i found this place by coincidence. After looking around i decided to sign up, i was kinda glad to see how many other people feel this way, and how great of a community this seems to be. :smile:
 

consciousinsane

Well-Known Member
#2
Hey kyle. Are you my conscious? It sounds like you wrote down my exact life. Only difference is the ages. I've felt this way since I was 14, and am now 26.

Motivation, to live, or simply mow the grass. I have none. I'd rather gaze at the wall and waste time away. I hate myself so much because of how I think and feel. One thing that bothers me most. My son had cancer recently, and is now going thru chemo. everyone is feeling bad, and sorry for us. Yet, I simply don't care one way or the other. I know he's not going to die, so I simply don't care about it.
 
#4
wow, you do sound a lot like me, apparently i am your conscious lol.

And yes TDM it really did help to actually get that out. That's why i like this place, nobody judges. :hug: right back to ya
 
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