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only ones

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by kyle, Nov 9, 2006.

  1. kyle

    kyle Member

    sorry, but if you read this i'm sure you've heard this story before, but this is the first time anyone has ever known a lil about how i feel, it seems like everyone here would understand, nobody else would, so thanks for listening.

    I don't know why but since i was 12 i have thought about ending my life, i am now 20. I don't feel any different now, just more serious. but i think why do i feel this way, i lead a normal life. I'm shy and quiet, i get along with almost everyone mainly because it's hard for me to say what i really want to, but i just fuckin hate myself, i'd do about anything for anyone, but it seems like i mess everything up, and i'm getting tired of school. Motivation is pretty much non-existant, and sleeping is becoming my favorite past time. I don't see the point in life, i just really don't care about anything, i don't feel like there is anything to live for except for the fact that i wouldn't want my parents to go through that, the other night after getting drunk i tried to find out about over dosing on pills. Today i found this place by coincidence. After looking around i decided to sign up, i was kinda glad to see how many other people feel this way, and how great of a community this seems to be. :smile:
  2. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    Hey kyle. Are you my conscious? It sounds like you wrote down my exact life. Only difference is the ages. I've felt this way since I was 14, and am now 26.

    Motivation, to live, or simply mow the grass. I have none. I'd rather gaze at the wall and waste time away. I hate myself so much because of how I think and feel. One thing that bothers me most. My son had cancer recently, and is now going thru chemo. everyone is feeling bad, and sorry for us. Yet, I simply don't care one way or the other. I know he's not going to die, so I simply don't care about it.
  3. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    I'm glad you decided to share... it helps some to get it all out. :hug:

  4. kyle

    kyle Member

    wow, you do sound a lot like me, apparently i am your conscious lol.

    And yes TDM it really did help to actually get that out. That's why i like this place, nobody judges. :hug: right back to ya