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Only option,

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Behind the Smile, Sep 23, 2010.

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  1. Behind the Smile

    Behind the Smile New Member

    I was never meant to make it this far. I intended to kill myself before I was at the 'applying to university' stage of life but I'm still here. I'm convinced I'll have been successful by this time next year so won't have to deal with university/moving away etc.

    All I keep thinking about is death. I OD'd again last week but am obviously still here. I keep going over and over the methods, wondering which is most likely to work. I just don't want to be here anymore.

    Advice, nice words?
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...so sorry you are in such pain...maybe if you share what is going on for you, you might feel less alone with it...we are here to listen and support...please PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs and welcome again, J
  3. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Is it the stress of moving out and going to University that is causing you to feel this way, or something else in your life?
  4. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    Hi behind the smile, welcome to the forum. I'm really sorry to hear about your pain. I really understand what you are going through at the moment. I have been like that for 30 years. it does get better. you can learn to cope with it. It's not always easy but nothing worthwhile ever is. why don't you want to go to university? do you have to go? what about getting a job instead?

    suicide isn't your only option, what about seeking help with this afliction and trying to fight it. speak to your doctor, the samaritans. please. pm me if you wish.
  5. ingelosi

    ingelosi Member

    Hey Behind the smile,

    I'm not sayin this would be the case for you but when i met my ex gf she was 15 and in school(uk)and she was a shy timid girl with not much confidence,this got a little better when she started 6th form(16-18) but she too really did not want to goto uni or move away but her parents had money and it was expected of her.

    So off she went to a uni about 50 miles away(she chose it so she could easily visit her familiy and friends)she was a bit uneasy the first few weeks but we made sure we visited regulary till she settled in.

    jump forward 4 years and you wouldnt recognise the girl, she had so much confidence and more importantly she had found out who she wanted to be.No more cutting no more crying all the time and thinking she didn't fit in.

    Now we are friends and she has a family of her own and you would never of guessed that the woman she is now was once a frightened little girl who wouldn't say boo to a goose.

    Her best friend at the time joined the same uni but he really didn'd like it so after a while he switched to a different uni across the country, which he didnt like so he came home and went to college and then moved to another side of the country and now hires boats out for a living and is too a very happy man.

    So what i'm trying to say is that you might find its the best thing that ever happened to you or you might find that its really not for you but either way it's ok it's your life and whatever you want to do in it it fine.Society pressures us into thinking that unless you conform there's something wrong with you but thats simply not the truth.

    It's hard to see the light sometimes but that doesn't mean that the light isn't there.

    You will always have options and it will always be your choice.

    Hope your ok.
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