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Only thing I look forward to is sleep.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DannyBoy, Oct 19, 2010.

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  1. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    I wake up feeling miserable. Like a sinking feeling in my stomach. I'm not working right now so I have a lot of free time which has been bad for me since I got nothing to do.

    I can't seem to find any interest in any hobbies or anything. I come on internet/forums and sometimes I play Xbox but that's about it. I'm pretty much just counting the clock till I can take some meds and go back to sleep.

    It's very hard being stuck in this place. It's like purgatory, closer to hell.

    I don't know how I'll make it another month. I'm just tired of life in general. Nothing exciting seems to happen anymore. I find our lives very boring. I don't think I want to live in mediocrity and that's the best I can hope for at this point.

    I have very little interest in material things and that seems to be all that anyone cares about which is sad.

    Anyone relate?
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    i've felt that way before and sometimes now.

    i think that the perspective comes from one's mental state rather than something inherent about life.

    maybe try 1/2 per day of gentle aerobic activity

    maybe try meditation

    you could become a qi gong master with all of that spare time that you have
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I look forward to sleep because I can get away from everyone. I'm no longer apart of the shit world my physicality is stuck in. Life is better when you can make it yourself :).
  4. sinnssykdom

    sinnssykdom Banned Member

    Yea i can relate for sure.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Danny, welcome..

    I can relate, I used to feel that way all the time, not so much anymore, well obviously some days are worse than others but you need to find something that will pick up your mood. For me, just logging in here to SF does that, because I fit in here and can relate to most of what I read here.
  6. Daigoro

    Daigoro Member

    Danny, word for word, that is me. Mediocrity just about sums up how my life is panning out. A complete lack of interest in anything and lack of desire to do anything about it.

    I've been to therapy for 5 months, exercised, been to spiritualist church, banged my head aginst a wall till concussion set in, nothing makes this apathy go away.

    Now I just cry a lot, I have no other mechanism to cope with being awake.

    I feel for you brother, I am taking the same journey. Other than empathy, I have nothing for you right now. The only thing that I cling to is that I wasn't always like this, maybe, just maybe, I won't be like this for ever. A fragile hope, but enough for now
  7. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    yes I can relate. My dreams are always more enjoyable than my real life. When you go to sleep you can leave your worries behind for a time. All problems dissolve for a few hours. Until the next day comes.
  8. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Some of the best times in my life is spent unconscious.

    You have no problems when you are asleep.

    You problem always come back when you wake up.
  9. asrunDREAM

    asrunDREAM Member

    i enjoy sleep after i wake-up but falling asleep can be difficult... there's so much going through my mind that i tend to just lay in bed until i'm just exhausted. it doesn't help that i'm just naturally paranoid too... even little things can escalate and become a huge burden for me =/
  10. SweetJane88

    SweetJane88 Member

    I COMPLETELY RELATE TO THIS. its like i could've written it myself. what I do now is try to involve myself in something interesting everyday. lets say if i wasn't depressed, this is what I'd be interested in, but I am....BUT I do it anyway. so when it is my time to go I can be happy that I didn't waste all that time doing nothing. why dont you try this? but yeah i look forward to nightfall everyday now and I dread waking up. things are getting a little better. the only thing i have to look forward to is graduating, but college has been hell for me. but u know this is no way to live. i think you should try my suggestion so at least it keeps you moderately busy. take care....
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I well relate to you.. Thank god I have meds that make me sleepy.. I sleep half the day away and then at night I go to bed early..Sleep is my only escape..
  12. K-On

    K-On Well-Known Member

    I Pretty much feel the same way about life.
    All I do is Sleep, Get up and do nothing all day apart from listening to music, searching for more info on my method (that i've finally decieded im going ahead with, just have to get stuff again because of inaccurate information I had (I wish that crap had been removed, I wouldnt have wasted that time and money then)), lying around in my bed wishing i'd just disapear and then go to sleep at the end of the day.
    Thats pretty much what i do virtually everyday. I pretty much leave my home once a week just to take care of annoying things.
  13. Staysuplate

    Staysuplate Member

    I can sort of relate, I think. I actually look forward to sleep so much, I deny it from myself for as long as I can. Until my body almost feels as bad physically as I do emotionally. Then that time between I deciding I will go to sleep, and actually falling to sleep, is so exciting for me. Its like the only time I feel content, and at peace and guilt free, since I know as soon as my head hits the pillow I will fall asleep... probably... the only problem is the sun tends to rise first, so I have to wait till the next day, or the day after.

    Sleep I like.
  14. privatename

    privatename Well-Known Member

    Yes I know how you feel Danny. I work for myself out of my home office so when I have no work to do, I'm bored and lonely. All I want to do is sleep and that luxury has been taken away from me with all the noise in my area. Lousy neighbors, barking dogs and my whiny cat keep me up all night most of the time. I get a few hours of sleep and wake up feeling miserable and stressed out beyond belief. I hate my life.
  15. Will Vokins

    Will Vokins Member

    I'm not feeling sorry for myself here guys, but you shouldn't take sleep for gratitude. There are some people on this forsaken planet can't even resort to the "comfort" of a bed. I usually go to sleep at around 10PM, fall asleep at 3AM, Wake up at 6:30AM to go to school. I'm just implying that sleep is a wonderful thing, and shouldn't be taken for granted.
  16. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    I see your point that's very true.
    I have insomnia aswell so I looooove the rare occasions when I can get to sleep.

    I agree with the mediocracy of life though it does get dull but I don't feel like that as much as I used to. I guess I'm just lucky.
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