I am 47, tried every combination of anti depressants/anti anxiety pills over the last 25 years, 2 failed suicide attempts, one was a cry for help the other wasn't, I woke up after <mod edit - methods> and I was pissed!!!!!! That was 20 years ago, have ridden the antidepressant rollercoaster, managed to keep everyone at arms length, brother sisters parents friends, all because I know at some point I will succeed. Up until 8 years ago I had no idea when, was just taking it day by day, week by week y'all know the drill but on April 22 2008, my life changed when a baby chocolate lab came into my life. Little did I know at the time his importance ad he was amongst 8 others in my Sam's litter. 6 weeks later he got into some poisonous material, he was so close to death when we were at the vet, doc gave him a 50-50 chance, and to call in the morning. I went home and drank myself to sleep,crying like a baby, positive he wasn't going to make it. Next morning vet called, he was awake, active, eating drinking. I have never been so happy in my life. I picked him up and even though I had lots of phone calls wanting to buy a chocolate lab I couldn't sell him. We were inseparable, he comes to work with me, he ears with me, sleeps with me, for the first time I truly felt unconditional love for another creature. So the years have gone by, he makes my life relevant and important. I promised him I would never leave him. He's older now, greying like me, can't play as long or walk as far and I can see the end, looming ahead and I know I won't be able to take it. I tear up and bawl now just thinking about it. I spend at least half an hour a day just holding him talking to him rubbing his ears because I know one day I won't be able to, and I won't be able to live without him.