Only worse

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dying_inside, Apr 19, 2011.

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  1. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    Life will go only worse.

    i've done all, ALL i could to make it go better, to give it a chance, but im always here, alone, scared, tired.

    i've reached out, i've asked for help but nobody can or knows how to help me.

    i am without hope, i cant be helped.

    what is left?

    suicide, suicide, suicide.

    thats my only way out, the only thing i can see in front of me.

    it will never get better, only worse... only worse
  2. NotAnotherUserName

    NotAnotherUserName Banned Member

    Life may not always go worst, it seems like you are feeling pretty low right now, it's understandable why you are struggling so bad *hug*, now you don't have to be alone, you have us on SF to look up to through the tough times, I hope you get what you need from here, please do keep reaching out *hug* How did you reach for help, how did you help yourself? Who did you reach out to? And for how long? You still have hope, don't put yourself down so quickly, everyone has a little bit of hope within them :hug: Please don't think about hurting yourself, their are honestly other options believe me, you just have to look, please keep reaching out to us, and honestly the truth things will be better please keep reaching out to us :hugtackles:
  3. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    Thank you but i dont see other options.

    how can i survive this pain of being alive? this pain of breathing?

    i've reached out to family and friends. i've reached out in this forum... im under the care of two doctors (therapists) and im under meds. i drink and cut to help myself go through the days, and im tired, so tired

    and still i dont see how my life could improve.

    if i do everything i'll have to, i'll graduate and have another job and a place on my own... things that should make me proud of myself but that instead i see only as a bigger weight on my shoulders. something i dont want.
    but i dont want to stay still in the place i am right now either.

    i just dont want to live, i dont want to live.

    and i've done all i could to avoid it but i am still here.
    and i've done all i could to give it a try but i am still here...
    i've tried to live, i've tried to die.

    i have been feeling like i was dying inside but when i looked out for life, life seemed unbearable.

    im wandering in the dark without any light at the end of the tunnel except for the peace that dying would bring.

    i've done all i could to stay alive, now i dont want to keep going on like this. i dont want it
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I think that things can get better for you. In order to get better, I think you have to believe that it is possible though

    The drinking is almost certainly making things worse. Not drinking will improve your condition, though it sounds like you will need some other, healthier coping method to replace it.

    if your meds aren't working, you can try to have them adjusted. you could also change your therapists

    acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine can help.

    there is also rTMS and electro-convulsive therapy

    exercise, meditation, and dietary changes can help. finding ways to lower your stress level and put yourself in a more positive environment can help

    can you talk about what the origins are of your depression, and things that may be contributing to it now?
  5. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    i dont know how i could think things could go better when neither the docs know how to help me.

    i am completely alone, because even if meds and family try to understand and help, they dont.

    it started when i started to face childhood abuse 6 years ago (im 19 now). i've overcome it but now im left coping with what it has left... my vision of the world and life...

    and every single day, every single minute and second is a struggle and im exhausted.

    i dont want this life and i dont want any other life.

    i dont want to live
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    doesn't sound like you have overcome it hun it sounds like it is still there and you need to face it again to heal you need more therapy perhaps hugs to you
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