1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Opening up?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Steviee, Oct 23, 2014.

  1. Steviee

    Steviee Member

    Like a lot of people, I have trouble opening up and letting people in.
    The last time I thought I loved someone and finally thought I could open up to them, so I told them about my depression and self-harm and everything that goes on in my head and how bad it gets, But they just left me as if they thought I was too much to handle, like I was too "broken" to ever be fixed...
    So after about 2 years I'm in a new relationship and I love him like I've never loved anything before. He knows some of it but I'm scared that if I tell him everything he'll just leave like others have and I don't think I could handle it again.
    Should I just give it my all and hope for the best?
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I've been hurt a lot too, so it is hard to know who to trust anymore. But if you really love him and he loves you, then he won't judge you. So tell him everything if you feel comfotable doing so.
  3. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Okay, I can relate in a way. I've been hurt a lot myself. In fact, I recently got out of a toxic relationship myself, and am having a hard time dealing with it still - even though I know it was for the best. Its not easy to trust again when you've been hurt so much, and feel you have to hide your depression, and mental health issues.

    You say : "I love him like I've never loved anything before", and that is fantastic. I'm really happy to know he knows some of the "stuff" and has stayed by your side, This is a great sign :) Take a bit of time, and I'm sure you will know the time and place to tell him your other issues. Keeping secrets is really not a healthy way to began a new relationship, however, I would go at it slowly, unless you feel it will impact it in some way(s) by not tell him immediately.

    Best wishes to you, and I hope this works out, and you will find happiness and joy with this guy :)
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm unsure to be honest. My ex had serious mental health issues so he did not care that I suffered them too. But maybe start slowly....and if you think he's catching on to the idea keep sharing with him. I hope he will love you for who you are but I completely understand your worries. I wish you all the best and let us know what happens.
  5. Alynna

    Alynna Member

    How long have you known him?
    If he really loves you, he'll accept you no matter what. If not, then it just opens up a new opportunity to find someone who really does love you (Yes it hurts, but that's just the way things are in our world. It'll either make you, or destroy you, and only you can decide which happens).

    It's tricky to root out who is sincere and who isn't. If you have doubts, then maybe wait a bit or tell him little by little.

    I know what it's like to trust someone and be completely betrayed. It's heartbreaking but it allows new opportunities to find people who you can truly trust. It took me three betrayals and about a decade to find my true friends. I trust them with everything and they trust me. I've been hurt on the way to finding them, I've suffered from social anxiety, depression, and abandonment issues the entire decade. (I still struggle with all these issues but they're issues I try to work on slowly, for the sake of myself and loved ones)

    It's hard as hell to do, but it's possible if you believe in the people you care about.

    I don't know how much any of this might help, but this is my point of view. Best of luck. The world is full of people that love you and will help you, you just have to let yourself find them.