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- Thread starter dying_inside
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Hi @dying_inside has something happened to make that last shred of hope disappear?
Talk to us here and let us try to support you through this tough time
Talk to us here and let us try to support you through this tough time
You have been around here for a while so you must have felt this way before. You know it won't last forever. What things did you do in the past that helped? And I'm certain you know you have friends here who will surround you with love and support while you take time to catch your breath and rebuild.
Is there anything you want to talk about? Here to listen.
Hugs and prayers
Is there anything you want to talk about? Here to listen.
Hugs and prayers
I know that you've talked about having problems with family, work, housing, medication, and finding the right therapist.
Do you want to say what is effecting you the most right now? Is it one of these, or is it something different.
T1 seemed to always be helpful, so maybe you could make an appointment?
Do you want to say what is effecting you the most right now? Is it one of these, or is it something different.
T1 seemed to always be helpful, so maybe you could make an appointment?
Thank you for answering.
what helped in the past? attempting suicide. that really helped. seriously. after that, i was more willing to give life another chance. right now i dont.
whats going on? a lot, maybe too much. or maybe i make too much out of nothing.
but mainly well, i had a plan with 2 possible pathways, and both involved firstly getting hired. these days im not sure i'll be able to be hired because 1) i dont feel mentally/physically good enough for it and 2) i dont even like it. everything though was based on getting hired, so now i find myself close to being without any plan. but since both plans would somehow contemplate failure at life... im wondering why not ending life sooner? even if its not the way i wanted it to happen.... the result is still the same. only that, i dont have a plan on how to end things before getting hired and all that it involved. i know it should be "easy" but i need to do things "right". and without getting hired it wouldnt be. or i havent found a way yet.
bottom line is living costs too much effort, even when life is "good". too many efforts with too little rewards. efforts never pay off. im sick of trying.
i cannot see myself living much longer, i dont see a real future except the one in which i kill myself. being without a clear plan is driving me crazy.
what helped in the past? attempting suicide. that really helped. seriously. after that, i was more willing to give life another chance. right now i dont.
whats going on? a lot, maybe too much. or maybe i make too much out of nothing.
but mainly well, i had a plan with 2 possible pathways, and both involved firstly getting hired. these days im not sure i'll be able to be hired because 1) i dont feel mentally/physically good enough for it and 2) i dont even like it. everything though was based on getting hired, so now i find myself close to being without any plan. but since both plans would somehow contemplate failure at life... im wondering why not ending life sooner? even if its not the way i wanted it to happen.... the result is still the same. only that, i dont have a plan on how to end things before getting hired and all that it involved. i know it should be "easy" but i need to do things "right". and without getting hired it wouldnt be. or i havent found a way yet.
bottom line is living costs too much effort, even when life is "good". too many efforts with too little rewards. efforts never pay off. im sick of trying.
i cannot see myself living much longer, i dont see a real future except the one in which i kill myself. being without a clear plan is driving me crazy.
Ugh. Can we rule out attempting suicide as a way to grasp life? What seriously helps me probably most of all is coming in here and answering posts with a little word of encouragement. Pretty soon those words break through to me as well.
Depression is going to make it seem like living is not worth the effort involved but in dying, you have no way of knowing if those efforts paid off! What helped me off from killing myself in June was grasping TIGHTLY to the tiniest, slimmest thread of hope that the lady I loved would eventually contact me and reestablish communication. That thread is slimmer than a thread of spider silk, but I still hold on and believe that one day... That hope keeps me alive. There are other things now also, but holding on to a hope gave me strength. How I would hate to get to my eternal rest and have God say "You're early! She's supposed to call you Tuesday". How ironic would that be?
I hate to blow sunshine up your backside but if you can whip the depression into submission, the days will seem brighter. Please hang on and plan life, not death.
Hugs and prayers
Depression is going to make it seem like living is not worth the effort involved but in dying, you have no way of knowing if those efforts paid off! What helped me off from killing myself in June was grasping TIGHTLY to the tiniest, slimmest thread of hope that the lady I loved would eventually contact me and reestablish communication. That thread is slimmer than a thread of spider silk, but I still hold on and believe that one day... That hope keeps me alive. There are other things now also, but holding on to a hope gave me strength. How I would hate to get to my eternal rest and have God say "You're early! She's supposed to call you Tuesday". How ironic would that be?
I hate to blow sunshine up your backside but if you can whip the depression into submission, the days will seem brighter. Please hang on and plan life, not death.
Hugs and prayers
Ok, trying to kill yourself is probably not the best way to make you want to stay alive.
The things you're feeling aren't necessarily the truth. Depression lies to us. You know this because you've made an attempt and yet found more of a will to live.
Have a plan, don't have a plan. It's all a bit irrelevant.
What relevant is that you're still here trying to figure this stuff out.
I for one hope you stick around.
Take care
The things you're feeling aren't necessarily the truth. Depression lies to us. You know this because you've made an attempt and yet found more of a will to live.
Have a plan, don't have a plan. It's all a bit irrelevant.
What relevant is that you're still here trying to figure this stuff out.
I for one hope you stick around.
Take care
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