...or should I lie with death my bride?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dibee, Mar 8, 2012.

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  1. dibee

    dibee New Member

    I guess I'm probably about a world away from most everyone on here. American living in Southern Africa. From outside, my life is one big adventure...and somehow that makes things worse. I guess if I'd stayed in my hometown and had visibly failed to achieve 'success', then maybe people would understand my depression. But as it is- on those rare occasions that I talk about how depressed I am, the person to whom I'm speaking tells me all the 'positive' things in my life (educated, 'attractive', smart, speak lots of languages, etc...), as if all those things actually make a difference in how I'm feeling! I'm perfect on paper. And yet, if I were to die in my sleep tonight (please, if only)...I don't know how long it would take for anyone to notice and I really doubt that anyone would care. I guess there's no real point to this post... no magical words that someone can say to me to make me feel like a worthwhile human being...

    I just wish I could go to sleep and not wake up....
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun sometimes we feel sad for no reason at all I do understand that. I don't know if i can say anything hun but just that i wish people could see more and hear more and understand. I hope you continue to talk here somehow when i do i see i am not so alone in the battle to get well. You are worthwhile hun and important and special just you cannot see it for all the darkness around you. Please know if you ever want to just talk you can pm me anytime hugs
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...many of us live in the binary life you wrote about...looks so OK on the outside and such horror on the inside...one thing expressing how you are feeling can do, is for you to get the caring of others...that is an affirming experience and allows you to know that good people, understanding people do exist...please continue to tell us what is going on...and welcome again
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