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out of body.....just end it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by depressed-dad, Mar 13, 2009.

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  1. depressed-dad

    depressed-dad Member

    I have been delaing with alot of stuff here latley and now just got a pink slip for work...they laid off like 15 of us and I was one. This couldnt come a a worst time. my body is so tired and im so mentally lost with no direction i am at a point where i have <Mod Edit - methods> in the last 12-14 hours <Mod Edit - methods> seem to have me higher then high...its like an out of body expierence. I am sorry to sit here and write thigns that I tried to help other people here with but i do believe that the moment that I have time alone where my family is no where around i will <Mod Edit - methods> and make sure that there is no chacne. This maybe a cry for help but I do feel as if this willl be the last contact i have with anybody. My wife is taking my kids out saturday to visit a friend of ours who just had a baby. That will be my chance to do what I have to do.
    My wife doesnt know that I was laid off she thinks becasue of the depression that I have been fighting i took sometime off...I cant tell her that I lost my job....how do I do that...It just proves that I am a failure. I have never been successful with a career in my life....I always seem to do something and have to change my career mid stream. Well jsut a chacne to tell everyone god bless you and please be stronger then I am casue i have fallen and there is no way to get back up this time. I had been doing ok....had the funeral for grandfather then now losing my job and in this economy where will i find something in a day or so to help get back on top of bills....no where. so thats it.....i live no more then a 1/8 mile form a large wooded area and very easy to head that direction and take care of what it is that i need to do....leave my body for real....thank you for all your replies but im sry to say that they will fall on deaf ears.....please stay strong for your sake.....goodbye SF and god bless.....:sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 13, 2009
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    If not for yourself stay alive for your kids.

    Killing yourself will do severe and irrepairable damage to all of them.
  3. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    Depressed_dad, you are cared for here. I'm sorry, i've not replied to you before because i've not been a good place recently myself but i did read your posts. I hope you feel your cry for help is heard. I just don't want you to feel bad for writing what you did, this is just the place to write what you need to, i can only hope that by telling us, it provides some release in any way it can.

    I'm very sorry to hear that you have been made reduntant, my dad has recently gone through such a situation and although he is most probably alot older than you, it is heartbreaking as a child to see this happening so i can only imagine what it is like for him. But i have to say, in the eyes of a child (and yes i guess i am that despite being in my 20s!), that you are not a failure. I have no doubt that you are a loving father and husband, and that is so important in a childs life. I understand your depression and disasociation, sometimes it feels like there is no way out of this bottomless pit, but i want you to know that you are important and i hope you don't walk that 1/8 of a mile to the woods to be free of yourself. I have had that feeling before, i am in so many different parts, i don't know who i am anymore. I understand what i say maybe falling on deaf ears, sometimes i don't want to and can't hear either. I just hope emotionally i strike a chord.
    I hope this isn't a goodbye.
  4. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey....i have read your posts too...and you really helped forpetessake last week.

    please don't lose your life and damage your family - over a job.

    there are many in the same boat - i hope you stay here with us and let us support you.....pm if you want to talk....and you WILL find something - will take some effort and time but you can.
    and. the sooner you are honest with your wife, the better. please. don't build a wall in your relationship....xxxx:console:
  5. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    I don't know you at all depressed-dad but I do hope you're ok.

    If you want to talk I'm here.

    Please stay safe :arms:. xx
  6. depressed-dad

    depressed-dad Member

    I dont know what to say. I had no idea that he was going to be like this. no one knew of this. why couldnt we see this happening? I have read all this and I am at a loss for words. I want to thank everyone who had the courage to say aomething to my husband. My brother found this on our computer and I have jsut read this for the first time.
    I am sorry that I cant say much at this point I am at a loss for words but I just said that didnt I. All of you didnt know my husband but yet you opened your hearts to him to help. I want to thank you for that. As we all try to mive on from what we are facing I want to extend my thanks to all of you. Please keep him in your prayers for you were right. he was a great father and was one of the best people i know that is why i fell in love with him and now none of us have him.
    I am sorry to put this on here knowing what this is for but as of this post it will be the last and his account will be deleted. Thank you all again for your thoughts. God bless you and please take care of yourselves, all of you thank you again.

    c/o depressed-dad
  7. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    this is tragic... am v sorry for your loss :(
    you are welcome to stick around for support if it would help you :(

    sam x
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    How does loosing a job make you a failure? Look at the economic times we are facing hun. You didnt make the choice to pink slip yourself. So please dont be so hard on yourself. I know it feels like anything good just cant happen now but there is always something. Doing this, leaves your family in a very dangerous situation. Sure you feel like if your out of the picture then things imporve for them. But without you there, the chances of things improving for your wife and the kids will only get much worse. Even out of work they face a better chance of struggling through this than without you there to keep them going. Please reconsider. You have so many things on your plate right now. They are overwhelming. So push the plate to the side for now. Sure you're feeling full to the eyeballs anyhow. You have been a ray of hope for many others here. Now let us do the same for you. Cant promise a better tomorrow but can promise someone who will listen and try to help you make it through today. Then we can work on tomorrow.... tomorrow.
  9. Troubled2008

    Troubled2008 Well-Known Member

    Again, you're just another person who's depressed and writing in English on here.... Another person who's been made worthless by Christianity or the impression of the Western religious ideas.....

    Might as well go die, son..... If you believe in all that....

    I'm only 29 trying to overcome the guilt and sadness of Christianity........... If it's in your family at all, prepare to be sad, guilty, depressed, and be prepared to die.

    Is that who you are? Do you want to sit down and die? Western religion/culture will tell you to do nothing other than that............. Even to be depressed for no reason.

    Get in touch with the *real* Nature............

    Take like two or three months to forget about these sad Western ideas........

    Why, might you ask... has God been angry at the English-speaking people in the last 10 years?

    Because....... This culture suffocates the voice of God.
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