out of control

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ari, Apr 4, 2007.

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  1. ari

    ari Staff Alumni

    everything is so out of control...one minute I cant stop myself from running...angry and myself If I dont get enough time in the gym...I am so exhausted the last few days ....it hurts to move right down to my bones...angry at myself for not exercising but no energy to be upset...so tired...everything is spinning out of control and my therapist is pushing more and more for me to have an evaluation with this hospital that specializes in ED's...I dont know what to do......
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Do you lose anything by having the evaluation?

    All they want to do is to try and make eating/exercising/your weight less of an issue for you.

    You will be in control all the time. You can choose to go and stay, or take it further, or whatever, but it might be something to consider.

    Just a thought. Hang in there. Make sure, at the very least, that you are drinking lots. But try to eat a healthy balanced diet too.

    Hang in there
  3. ari

    ari Staff Alumni

    my therapist is just really pushing hard for this because she doesnt have extensive experience in this area....when I am was a teenager I went thru a program like this, maybe thats whats scaring me so much...I felt like I lost control then....I feel like I am losing control...I know my thoughts are pretty distorted in this area...and I know I am probably more out of control than I know.....

    Drinking lots?...does that include coffee and diet coke? because honestly i was just sitting here thinking I cant remember the last time I had water or something else.....

    I know what the likely answer would be to do but...who the heck is going to watch my kids for the "three month" average stay or pay my bills...I dont think I cant fight this much longer
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Maybe you could get out patient treatment? Who will watch your kids if you take this too far and it kills you?

    Maybe you need to try and weigh up what is best.

    It must be scary if you have been through something similar before, but that does not mean that it will be the same this time. What was it that made you feel out of control?

    You need to hydrate yourself. water, juices, anything like that is good for you and your body needs, as well as the obvious foods.
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I wasn't paying much attention to chat, but just saw you leave.

    If you want to chat then feel free to PM me
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Ari ED's are all about control so of course you are freaking.:hug:
    But you know in your heart of hearts that you can't go on over exercising and starving, as scarey as an assessment seems I'd say go for it and fight the panic it will cause with thoughts of your children.
  7. ari

    ari Staff Alumni

    I hear what you are both saying.....
    I am sorry about just leaving chat..but for once, something that I dont do often, I was trying to talk to people and someone in chat was messing with it and erasing everything...it really frusterated me and at the moment I wasnt up to dealing with it.
    The hospital has inpatient treatment wich is average of ten days, then it goes to residential treatment wich is up to three months and then it goes to outpatient treatment wich can last as long as six weeks....
    One of the biggest hurdles is that this hospital is three hours away from where I live..
    I know I cant go on for ever like I have been
    I am not eating right...not drinking enough fluids(I have always had a hard time with that)
    Today I just got back from picking up a prescription because I have to start taking a nasal calcium spray because my bones are getting so brittle and I have the start of osteoporosis...not good news at my age...
    I just dont know what to do anymore
    its a lose lose situation
  8. Just my 2 cents - I spent 2 weeks in the psych ward, which was a small relief in many ways. But I'm logging on to more inpatient treatment which is out of town. I know I need it, but it scares the bloody hell out of me cause I don't have someone to take care of my life - ei.. bills etc. But I just can't hang on anymore. Let it all go to hell. I'm so fucking exhausted trying to keep up with this bullshit life - and I don't even have kids. don't know how you do it Ari... I'm so wasted. I don't know how you do it

  9. ari

    ari Staff Alumni

    hun I am so glad to hear from you...I have sorely missed our talks....so many people ask me how I hang on...and the only answer I can ever say is I dont know....Today I did something for myself...for one because I was in pain and for two I needed something reaffirming in my life right about now....This person has had words for me as it seems at the most magical moments and when I need them the most...she said to me....that there is something divine inside of me and that I have a purpose...what has been going on with me is a war inside...but she said the devine will prevail....Is this what I need to believe in...yes...is it hard to grasp...yes....but I have nothing left to grasp
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