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out of emotional energy

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by beautifuloblivion, Jul 1, 2009.

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  1. beautifuloblivion

    beautifuloblivion Well-Known Member

    It's almost 4am, and I'm not tired at all. I just can't stop thinking about things. And they're all things that are in the past, things that can't change. The people I've lost aren't coming back. I can't undo the bad experiences or make the memories go away. All I can do is cope, and I'm not sure I have the emotional energy for that anymore.

    I know there are people who care about me, but I feel like I'm just burdening them because there's nothing they can do to help. They can't change things either. They'll listen, of course, but talking about things doesn't help anymore. I need something to change. I want to keep on going, but I literally just don't feel like I can. I just feel so drained.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I saw your other post about how you feel talking about it doesn't really help but have you thought about a therapist? You sound really sad and like you have lost a lot of hope so I am glad you came back to SF so you can get support do you want to say what is going on a bit more to see if we all can help?
    Take care and I look forward to getting to know you.
    Hope you post again and let us all know what is going on in your life.

  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello beautiful oblivion.

    You need to find distractions. Maybe do a little exercise or cleaning or reading? Do you have a counsellor/therapist to talk to? You definitely wouldn't feel like you're a burden to them. When you feel like there's nothing left to go on for, make a list of all the things you want to do, how you'd like to change yourself for the better,it really helps. If you're feeling angry towards someone, draw a picture of that person and place the picture on a bed and beat the helt out of it.. lol

    I hope you feel better soon hun :hug:
  4. beautifuloblivion

    beautifuloblivion Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your replies, InNeedOf and daisychain. :hug:

    I've been going to a therapist for a little over three years. It helped for a while, but now I feel like I've told him everything, and every time I go we just have the same conversation over and over again, and I'm not getting anywhere anymore. I think I'm just beyond help. He's asked a couple of times if I wanted to try medication, but I just can't. Pills can't fix any of the things that are bothering me, and I'm afraid they'll just screw with my body and make me more unstable.

    Distractions help a little, but even when I'm running or reading a book, I can't ever really completely stop my brain from thinking about things. The most effective distraction, I think, is having other people around. But I don't have any friends left except for my boyfriend, and I'm pretty sure he's tired of dealing with me.

    I have to get going for now, but I'll try to post a little later about some of the things that are bothering me. And I really like the idea about drawing a picture of someone and beating it up...I'm definitely going to try that. :laugh:
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    can you tell your therapist how your feeling Let know that you feel you are not getting better tell him what you told us. Your therapist may change things up a bit to try to get you to release those thoughts going over and over in your brain. Letting your therapist know exactly how you feel will give him direction on how to proceed. I think it is great you can come here to talk to . Emotional draining i get this rest helps sometimes just going for walk and sometimes getting out with people but dont' get too discouraged some days are harder then others and i hope tommorrow is better
  6. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Maybe you could try switching therapists? It sounds like you've been with this one for a long time and it could be that you're just not clicking as well as you did in the early days. It might be worth looking for another one that may be able to connect with you better and help better.
    As far as meds go i don't think you can say they won't help, you don't know til you try. But i can understand what you say about not wanting them to mess with your body. So thats a valid reason and meds aren't for everyone.
    I'm sure your boyfriend isn't getting tired of you, i always think that, but he never is, we've been together 10 months now and he's put up with a hell of a lot from me. But he never gets tired. And i'm sure it's the same with yours. Perhaps you two could go out more? Go to the cinema, a museum, swimming? Getting out will help :)
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