My inspiration has run dry. I don't even know what words to use to express what I feel. On one hand, I can't stand my family, especially my dad, lately. He's the reason why I'm so insecure, and why I feel my future's uncertain. I can't forgive him nor forget his lies and whoring around. On the other hand, I'm scared of scaring people away. I've been hiding in my room since I was 14 and started starving and taking pills, so now I have no idea of how to interact with my peers. I'm terrified actually. I'm so paranoic, that I fear people will just stay close for a few days and then they'll get sick of me, annoyed by me, I'm always thinking I'm allergic to people. I just want people to like me, but seems like whenever I try to make friends, they get bored or I don't know. I'm not like the others, I don't drink, nor smoke, and am not a peppy girl. That's what's going on, nothings right, Im torn. Im all out of faith, this is how I feel Sometimes, and it's getting more frequent, I just want to stop trying. I only see a black future for myself. I don't want to end up alone, and nobody cares about me now anyway, so I just might spare myself countless years of solitud, depression and bitterness.