out of no where feeling like shit missing her

Gho5tKing

Active Member
#1
been working all day and was just listening to music all day and out of nowhere just started missing my kids mom and my daughter. I just went through a nasty break up and really missing my family and want to see them and get them back. I know things will never go back the way they were but I believe we can figure it out and be a family. I'm just feeling really lost amd alone.
 

SillyOldBear

Teddy Bears Rule! 🐻
Staff Alumni
#2
Can you call them, email them, just set up a visit. A break up does not mean you will never see those you love again. Don't ever give up on that.
 

Gho5tKing

Active Member
#3
Can you call them, email them, just set up a visit. A break up does not mean you will never see those you love again. Don't ever give up on that.
I asked her to marry me on valentine's day she said yes less then 2 weeks later broke it off. and started dating some other guy. she has blocked my number and refused to call me.
 

SillyOldBear

Teddy Bears Rule! 🐻
Staff Alumni
#4
That really is rough @Gho5tKing I gather she gave no explanation. People really can be brutal. No wonder I have chosen to live alone these past 40 years. It is less painful.
 

Gho5tKing

Active Member
#5
She has told me stuff but nothing that's the truth. I can tell when she is lieing. I'm assuming she cheated on me when out one night and cant face me so it's easier to leave me and hurt me this way then face it.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
#6
That really fucked up, dude. I'm sorry. Clearly, she's not ready to be in a committed relationship if she's acting that way, and I wouldn't be surprised if whomever she's with now doesn't last long either. You can still try to maintain a relationship with your daughter. You have every right to do that. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you need her back as well. I think you deserve someone who will own up to their actions and feelings and not be a coward about it.
 

Gho5tKing

Active Member
#7
That really fucked up, dude. I'm sorry. Clearly, she's not ready to be in a committed relationship if she's acting that way, and I wouldn't be surprised if whomever she's with now doesn't last long either. You can still try to maintain a relationship with your daughter. You have every right to do that. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you need her back as well. I think you deserve someone who will own up to their actions and feelings and not be a coward about it.
I dont honestly believe that woman exists. she was so different from any woman I'd ever been with and it all ended just like it always seems.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
#8
I dont honestly believe that woman exists. she was so different from any woman I'd ever been with and it all ended just like it always seems.
She does exist. Maybe you're just going after the wrong type of girl. I'm sure we've all thought at some point in our lives that there's no one else that could measure up to the person we're with. I know I have quite a few times. And then it turned out that I found someone who did every time. It may not seem that way now, but you have to give it a chance and some time. If she's the first woman you had a kid with, then that's a big deal. So of course you feel that way. Anybody would. It doesn't change the fact that you deserve more though.
 

Gho5tKing

Active Member
#9
she is my second baby momma and I just dont get it. why do they always prefer to bottle shit up and give up rather then communicate the truth. its easier for them to give up run away and start over. why
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
#10
she is my second baby momma and I just dont get it. why do they always prefer to bottle shit up and give up rather then communicate the truth. its easier for them to give up run away and start over. why
I honestly have no freaking clue. For me, that would be the most difficult thing in the world if I had to start over. I'd much rather fight to keep what I have no matter how bad it may get. How long were you guys together?
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
#12
almost 3 yrs and she tries to say she doesn't wanna waste her time but she is given up on our family and 3 yrs. its rediculous
Yeah. Three years is a pretty long time to just give up on like that. That definitely leads me to believe that she doesn't care to have a real relationship anytime soon. If she did, she wouldn't have given up like that. Relationships are never perfect. Of cpurse there are going to be rough moments, sometimes even unbearable. But it's how you get through them as a couple that keeps you strong and together, and just running away is like saying, "I want everything to be perfect and easy." But there is no such thing.
 
#13
she doesn't believe that her new bf wont last she thinks itll be different this time... idk I wanna wait just so I can say I told you so and show her that true love doesn't die and I'll be here for her when she gets her head out of her but. but I'm so miserable. idk what to do to be happy knowing she is with someone else now raising my daughter with him
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
#14
she doesn't believe that her new bf wont last she thinks itll be different this time... idk I wanna wait just so I can say I told you so and show her that true love doesn't die and I'll be here for her when she gets her head out of her but. but I'm so miserable. idk what to do to be happy knowing she is with someone else now raising my daughter with him
By sitting around and waiting for her to leave him, you're making yourself look like someone who can be taken advantage of. Even if she does come back to you, it's very likely that she'll just treat you like crap. This is the girl that had a kid with you, said she'd marry you, and then just up and left with some other guy. People always treat you the way that you let them. And if you let them step all over you, they'll be eager to do it over and over again. I don't think that's a good idea, personally. But it's your life obviously, and it's up to you.
 

Auri

🎸🎶Metal Star🎵🥁
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#15
You have every right to meet with your daughter, though. You should fight for that. I agree, I don't think the woman is worth it anyway, but do what you think is best for you. Take care of yourself.
 

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
#16
Fuck dude, I’m so sorry. I’ve been where you are right now, like almost exactly where you are. Slight difference in my case was that was that she left when she got pregnant, married the other guy, and put his name on the birth certificate.

Maybe you don’t want to hear this, but to hell with her, okay? Even if she came back, you know what would happen? You’d spend all your time worried about her leaving again, you’d be miserable. And I can tell you from experience that moving on and finding someone else who appreciates you and is worth your loyalty will be the best thing that you ever did for yourself.

That aside, you need to fight for your right to see your daughter, okay? She needs you and if you let her mother keep her away from you, you’ll come to hate yourself for it. And you know what? The deck is stacked against you when it comes to that, you might not “win” but, once your daughter is old enough to start making her own choices about who she spends time with, knowing that you gave it your all will make all the difference in the world to her.
 

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
#17
she is my second baby momma and I just dont get it. why do they always prefer to bottle shit up and give up rather then communicate the truth. its easier for them to give up run away and start over. why
almost 3 yrs and she tries to say she doesn't wanna waste her time but she is given up on our family and 3 yrs. its rediculous
she doesn't believe that her new bf wont last she thinks itll be different this time... idk I wanna wait just so I can say I told you so and show her that true love doesn't die and I'll be here for her when she gets her head out of her but. but I'm so miserable. idk what to do to be happy knowing she is with someone else now raising my daughter with him
I also want to echo the advice @Aurelia is giving you. Your ex is unrealistic and immature in her expectations of what a relationship is supposed to be. The right person for you isn’t the one who it’s easy to be with and who you have no conflicts with. The right person is the one you can be honest with and work with to get past that stuff. You seem to understand that, but your ex really doesn’t. That alone is proof that she is not the right person for you.

And the other thing she said, about how she’d likely treat you like crap if she ever did come back. I mean, I had people telling me that stuff when I was in your position and, at the time, I hated them for it. But, in retrospect, I really really wish I had listened. So if telling you to forget about her sounds harsh, please understand that it’s only meant to spare you future pain.
 

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