I came into work today and was told my sheriff's card has expired. I couldn't go get a new one because there's a warrant for my arrest. To remove the warrant, it's $250. Also my boss said I have to have a business licence by the 26th, which is another $200. I have $4.00 to my name right now. I have no job, no money, a warrant, and my rent is due on friday. my closest family is a 16 hour drive. I have one friend, but I can't expect her to do any more than talk to me and even that might be too much. I'm 23 years old. This has been my life so far: Age 4: Molested Age 10: Put in therapy (for the next 10 years.) Age 12: Braces, glasses, acne, frizzy hair, socially inept. Children are cruel, but who didn't have an effed up childhood, right? Age 13: Alcohol Age 14: AlcoholIC. Pot. Antidepressants are prescribed. Age 15: slowed down the drinking. Nitrous Oxide. Lost virginity, quickly became a slut because I was afraid to say no. Age 16: Cocaine. lots of cocaine. Father's 60 year old friend tries to discreetly give me his number for "great sex". Try to run away to canada. Age 17: Still doing coke. Uncle tries to kiss me. Brother gets blown up in Afghanistan. First paranoid delusion. Age 18: Move across the country. no more medication. Grandma has cancer. Age 19: Move in with boyfriend. Systematically cuts me off from friends and family. Not allowed to leave the house or talk to anyone. Raped 7 times. Age 20: Move again. College. Best friend of 6 years is based (airforce) near by. Gets sent to Korea. Tells me in 1 year he will be sent to hawaii. Asks me to come. Asks me to marry him. Age 21: Finacee marries some girl in korea and stops talking to me. move back home. Mom has cancer. Therapy. Psychiatrist determines I have: PTSD, clinical paranoia, anxiety disorder, manic depression, and possibly multiple personalities. Antipsychotics, antidepressants, and antianxiety pills are prescribed. Second paranoid delusion. Age 22: DUII. Parents tell me I am going back to college. They even pick out what I am to study. Age 23: Flee! End up in Las Vegas. Become stripper. Hate life. Apartment gets broken into, guy tried to rape me, stabs me three times, and steals my purse. 14 stitches later I am forced to walk home through the ghetto in the middle of the night with nothing but my keys. Ambulance fees. Get a stupid ticket. Can't find out when court date is. Warrant for arrest. Lose job. Can't afford to eat. I'm sure I've forgotten some things but... I feel justified in saying my life has been mostly sh*t. I'm not just a whiny kid. I've been through a lot and at this point I wonder, will things ever get better, or is this the way my life is going to be? And if so, why keep going?