So...I was really down. Somewhat suicidal. But I had a bad asthma flareup that landed me in the ER and on a nebulizer for 1.5hrs, then they gave me prednisone and a large dose taper to start at home immediately. I'm bipolar. It made me severely manic, hallucinate, etc. I spent Christmas in a psych ward. Got out today, came home, place was a wreck. I have a roommate. He didn't clean anything, just messed everything up, let trash pile up, didn't clean the litter box though he promised he would, so the cat peed everywhere. I gave him his christmas presents. He gave me nothing cause he spent all his money on himself. I got no calls, nothing from anyone for christmas. My friend invited me out for dinner tonight, I turned her down. I can't stand to be around anyone. I just want to die. I know how to do it, have to materials. I'm just so, so fed up. Up, down, up down. Mostly down these days. I'm so done.