Out of the way

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sad Rabbit, Nov 12, 2009.

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  1. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Soon, I'll be out of everyone's way. Gone forever. I can hear the champagne corks popping even now in anticipation - especially in the chat forums.

    I'd just wish someone would tell me what it is I've supposed to have done to be treated like this.

    Still, it will be academic soon as I'll be out of everyone's way. Forever.
     
  2. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    Could you give it a try here, on the forums? Maybe it would be more suitable for you. Is it worth that you should make such a serious decision based on the events in the chat rooms? Could you reconsider, please?
     
  3. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    hey :hug: i would miss you and you are ALWAYS welcome in chat. what has happened sweet? do you want to talk about it or PM me? :arms:
     
  4. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Only by a few people. Everyone else refuses to talk to me. Most times I come in, I don't even get a "hi", and when I do, that's the limit of conversation. I have sat there for hours and get ignored, my comments passed over.

    So what's the point of it all? This chat room is the only contact I have with other people - and I am not wanted there.
     
  5. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    I'm not. But it is another aspect in my worthless life I have to tolerate, at least only for now.

    I have a date, time, location and means. Now I have another reason.
     
  6. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    I'm sorry if you missunderstood me, you ARE worthy, everyone is, beacuse everyone is unique in their own way. Just sometimes doesn't look like that, we feel completely alone and unwanted, as if nobody care about us. I meant to say - are the people in the chat room all that you can talk to, could you try talking to us here? Could you post your comments and thoughts here?
     
  7. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    hey there is the forum too. and i promise you are wanted there. im not always spoken to but am happy to sit peacefully watching. if you ever want to talk to me in there just PM me :hug:
     
  8. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Awww, Sad Rabbit...the ones who ALWAYS welcome you are your friends and they would miss you so much. You know, it's not the number of friends we have or what sort of social rank they have in a group, it's that our real friends care about us. I think having a few, good friends is much nicer than having a ton of acquaintances who will just do small talk with you.

    :hug:
     
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: You're always welcome here, on the forum. I'm sorry you've felt uncomfortable, but there are people here who genuinely care about you. PLEASE let us try to help.
     
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Graham there is always going to be a "thing" about chat. I rarely go there. I generally have the same experience you did. I dont know how it can be fixed. I guess you just have to be a certain type of person to get anything out of chat. You have to be somewhat cliquey and determined to be able to "do" chat. Unfortunately there are many threads like yours. Guess safe to say chat is there if you feel like some silliness. Serious stuff keep it in the forums. Unfortunate but that seems to the unwritten law with chat. Not a place to be if your are a weaker person emotionally. Or trying to deal with anything very serious in your life. Although this site is supposed to be a place where those that are lost in RL can feel like they belong. Unfortunately chat repeatedly makes people feel unwelcome. So Graham please keep posting here. There are members that really do want to help if we can.

    Sorry didnt mean to rant in your thread just wanted you to know that chat isnt always good for everyone. It is nothing personal against you, many others have the same experience there. The forums are much better suited to help you.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 12, 2009
  11. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    we have the same feeling.. rabbit..
     
  12. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    I beg to differ on that one. I attempted a few months ago, I even said I was going and was off the forums for nearly three weeks whilst I was recovering.

    Did anyone notice? No.

    And they won't again. I will just disappear, my postings will fall out of the forums, and that will be that. Forgotten.

    There are a few genuinely nice people here, but to my mind, the majority are not. I may have a few good "aquintences", but no one I would consider friend.
     
  13. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Sad Rabbit, I'm sorry that happened. I'm sure it hurt to feel that no one noticed. Is it possible that people did notice, but that nobody "said" anything? There could be all sorts of reasons people don't respond. A lot of times (even here on SF) people simply aren't sure what to say to someone when s/he is in the middle of a crisis or just back from attempting, and rather than hurting the person by saying the wrong thing, they decide to say nothing.

    I can imagine you thinking to yourself, "OK...but why do some people GET a big response?" Well, Sad Rabbit, I think it's true that sometimes some people get "more" replies or a bigger response to things. Sometimes people reply or don't reply depending on how well they know the person. Sometimes, they might not have realized how badly the person really truly felt, or maybe they were in the midst of something bad themselves and didn't have the emotional energy to reply or offer support.

    Feel free to drop me a PM any time you want some friendly support.

    :hug:
     
  14. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Soon there will be no more tears
    No more lonely nights, no more isolation
    No more pain, no more denial.
    No more sitting and watching..
    Watching others living their lives
    Lives filled with happiness, love and fulfilment
    Everything denied me.

    And those who have made me do this, will rejoice
    And the world will be a better place.
    And when the laughter dies, so will the memory.
    Gone and then forgotten.

    No monument, no carved stone, no flowers, no mention.
    Nothing to mark a presence of someone who never meant anything to anyone.
    Ashes scattered on unmarked ground.
    A waste of a life.

    I am waiting for a time when I will be ready, a time soon approaching.
    When I have finished, when I have completed what I have set out to do..
    When I have closed my journal for the last time
    When I have written my last instructions of what to do when I am gone..
    Then I will be ready.

    I will look forward to a time when this is all over
    For the first time, I will be content. The misery put upon me will diminish
    Oblivion will take the pain away…the tears…the torment.

    I cannot take this anymore.
    I wish it could end now.

    I feel I have come far enough. I feel there is nothing more I can do or say.
    There is nothing anyone can say.
    No one can feel the constant crushing pain I feel
    Going to bed every night in tears
    I have tried everything to pull myself out of it
    But have met nothing but apathy, derision and failure.

    I just want it to stop.
     
  15. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Once again, your ability to put forth in words how you feel is astonishing. And I'm sorry that I lack the words to make anything better or change your situation. But I do want to let you know you are wrong when you say no one will remember. I will. You have become a part of my life by sharing your pain. I cannot forget anyone's pain once it has been revealed. If there is anything at all that I can do to try and help you through it, please drop a pm. I can only offer words but they are backed with undertanding, experience and care. I truly hope that some of them might offer some help.
     
  16. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    I agree that chat is not the friendliest place to be if you're not well known here, but on the forums in most cases the more you put yourself out there and make yourself known the more people respond. Whether that is right or wrong is not the point... it is nevertheless true. I know that there are only a couple of people on here who know me or would miss me if I disappeared but that's mostly because I am a lurker here now and I haven't given anyone a chance to get to know me.
     
  17. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    People WOULD notice if you were gone. I wont' speak for anyoen else here, but I know I would. I noticed last time, when you hadn't posted for several weeks.

    You're right; there are some genuinely nice people here. I'm sorry you feel that the majority of the site isn't supportive though. All I know is that there are people who care, that will be there if you reach out to them.
     
  18. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Thank you those who replied.

    I am sitting here wondering what to do.

    I think I need to see someone........


    I wish there was something someone could do to help me...


    I am so, so sorry for everything ....

    ..
     
  19. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You're always welcome here hun :arms:
    You don't have anything to be sorry for :hug:
     
  20. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    *hugs* You have nothing to apologize for. I think getting some help would be a good idea.
    Always here if you need anything.
     
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