outside persona cover up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by amc, Oct 20, 2014.

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  1. amc

    amc New Member

    No-one stops to ask me if I'm okay, like truly okay. If they did the answer would be no. I don't like to upload my feelings and emotions onto others but maybe virtually my fear of doing this will go away.

    Going through a tough patch where living each day miserable is getting tirying.

    I feel alone. I turn to alcohol because it allows me to forget and suffering a hangover strangely makes me feel good as I'm punishing my body and causing myself harm.
  2. Husky

    Husky Well-Known Member

    Hi amc, It seems sad in a way that people seemingly don't stop and ask people if they're ok. There was a newspaper article I read which also explained how most people don't seem to really care and just ask it out of habit. I don't know the details of your rough patch but I sincerely want you to be ok and really ok. I'm sorry you are in solitude but I'm sure there are a multitude of people who would want to help.

    People tell me the bottle is only good for parties where you spin the bottle to spend some time with someone. Then some tell me from their experiences, that even then it's not that good. Is there something else you could turn to apart from alcohol? It might be a hobby to take your mind off what you're suffering. Do you have anyone in your community who you may be able to confide in?

    Please keep reaching out if you want to and take care of yourself. This hardship will go away in time and things will get easier. Take care and I hope that you have a great day. Husky
  3. Maxinec

    Maxinec New Member

    I feel guilty that no-one knows the real me.. how I am feeling inside - no-one cares or asks either . I'm an entity of irrelevance and insignificance. I hate fake people yet I am reduced to that. If my friends knew the real mechanics of my mind they would never speak to me again and just want me out of their lives and in a hospital. Continuing to act alive and not just merely exist is hard enough... I want out!
  4. nararabbit

    nararabbit Active Member

    I'm sorry to hear you don't feel supported or safe in sharing your feelings. Feel free to share them here and find people who understand where you're coming from (as much as one human can to another, that is.) When it comes to the alcohol... as my therapist asks me, "Is this the most effective way to deal with my problem?" Often the answer is no (though I overeat, not drink.) Ask yourself what a more effective coping mechanism might be. Keeping a journal, listening to upbeat music, joining the chat here (it's full of nice people :) ) going out in the sun for 10 minutes will give you a nice dose of vitamin D and is proven to boost your mood. Taking a nap, hugging a stuffed animal while having a good cry...

    Ultimately no one else can save you from yourself. Hard as it may be, you have to slowly work towards a healthier way of dealing with your feelings. I should mention that alcohol is a depressant, so it's only going to aggravate the horrible emotions you're feeling. I stay away from it for that exact reason.

    I hope you feel comfortable coming back. We are here for you.
  5. amc

    amc New Member

    Thanks for your comments. Its nice to have people who understand.

    I've suffered for many years. I used to cut when I was 15, planned suicide when I was 16 but then got over it all as I entered into a relationship where I was happy. Then now (at 24) I go through periods of feeling really down and struggle to be motivated to do anything other than lie in bed with the curtains shut. I do feel like I need to get up and just shake it off and put a smile on my face but its much harder than it seems.

    I have however started a detox diet this week, so cutting out all the bad foods and alcohol from my life in hopes that being healthy will give me a boost. The week has been a massive struggle though where all i have been thinking about is not being here.

    I don't want people to think I'm just moaning because life isn't perfect which many people believe. Its just something in my head and thoughts that run by that i can't stop so i just follow them.

    Sometimes I think I'm ill (mentally) but other times I think all it takes is someone to be there for me.
  6. Husky

    Husky Well-Known Member

    Hi amc, Thank you for your message. It sounds like you’ve been through some very difficult times in your life but you mentioned that you got over it. That’s not always easy so well done on this. It also proves that you can get over the tough times and can conquer what you’re going through now.

    The detox plan sounds terrific and I’m pleased that the alcohol is being discarded. It will make your life healthier as well.

    You’re not moaning at all and you’re just sharing how you’re life is at the moment. I think you’re correct too. Just having someone to be there and bounce ideas and feelings off significantly helps. Please keep posting here if you need to as the people here will be happy to help. Take care. Husky
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