Outsider looking inwards

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thebaronspell, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    I'm curious to find out why most people dislike me could it be because of zainy sense of humour, image or attitude? Since I was very young I've felt like an outsider because I've battled against the odds to go into a mainstream school as I was severely suffering from a speech disorder but after being diagnosed and treated I was permitted to join the local Infant school nearby. It has been almost five years since leaving school but still feel distant from others and my relationship with my friends is worser then it has been before because I've never been able to talk with them about my problems or my family life which to be honest I wouldn't shout from the rooftops in all fairness. I feel prone to outside attack because I don't really have anybody else to rely upon and that others sense a weakness about me just from the way I go about my life.

    I think nobody wants to discuss how I feel to my face because they see me as a write off the moment they meet me so and go elsewhere.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i think it's rare to have a friend that you can really open up to, esp. about feeling lonely and suicidal. it's too much for most people to handle. that's why there are therapists! and crisis lines. have you tried to reach out to one of those when you are feeling down? not the same as a friend but very good nonetheless.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It takes a lot of bravery to look inside and question who we are...I admire that...big hugs, J
  4. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    I've spoken to a therapist he either didn't understand or want to listen to me. Family members know enough about what the situation is but hide behind a family feud meaning my plight is neglected to be dealt about because they are too busy moaning about someone who died 20 years ago and thus means I can't speak to my cousins either. My friends could figure out what is wrong with me if they wanted to complete the puzzle as they have enough information to speak to about it but they opt not to. I'm a shy type it isn't like me to ask somebody I know for advice or help.
  5. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    You're still expecting way too much from your friends. They're not medically qualified to be counsellors or therapists.
    I doubt very much that most people dislike you. They're probably too wrapped up in their own lives to even be thinking about you. A lot of them are probably thinking 'why does everyone dislike me?' but they're not showing you that side of themselves.
    What exactly happened with the therapist?
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