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Over 3 years, and here I am again...

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by BrokenIcarus, Nov 9, 2011.

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  1. BrokenIcarus

    BrokenIcarus Member

    According to my little login box, I haven't been here for 3 years...yet here I am again.

    A lot has happened...I've grown in so many ways...yet I haven't.

    How's this for a kick in the head - I am LIVING with my former counselor, who needed my help to support her through a divorce...

    She asked for my help during a session, and she had helped me so much I felt like it was a way to give back...

    So first I supported emotionally, and then when she suggested we combine living expenses, it sounded logical...

    I was so strong then, so sure of myself. I was back in school for my MA degree, living on my own, supporting myself and my child...

    I was managing the PTSD of a lifetime of abuse...

    Now, it seems like our roles have reversed...I am supporting her and her daughter as she "recovers", emotionally, financially - everything.

    I can't talk about how I feel or have my own opinions.

    Anything I say is attacked. Any way I feel is wrong.

    She's the one with the training and the experience...and yet she see's me as never wanting to get better...

    I thought I was better, once upon a time.

    I am so confused, and don't know where else to go for help.

    Maybe someone here will understand.

    Or maybe not - I don't have too much energy left to hope anymore.
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    A warm welcome to you. Three years, wow.. It sounds like your health is in jeopardy mostly because of the events all leading back to your former counselor. Is there a way you can live on your own with your child and without your former counselor? If so, how soon can it happen? And also, how's school going? I understand that she is going through a lot, but I hope you can support her (while living away) but at the same time not have to tolerate all of this verbal abuse... less contact.. much less than 247. Just my two cents. :twocents: :hug:

    Best of luck,

  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Living with your former therapist (although legally no therapist is ever former which is why a personal relationship is considered unethical) is not just ill fated, but potentially injurious to you...you are collaborating with her in a shameful, counterdependent way, and clearly not healthy...no matter how a therapist feels about a client/patient, there are boundaries for good reason...please work on regaining your independence and insisting that she seek help...J
  4. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member


    I will have to propose some steps as currently you're not getting the help and the support you need and this is unfair to you.
    Your relationship with your counselor has obviously now been changed and cannot anymore help you therapeutically.

    You will need to find another counselor so first you can get the help and support you need.

    Now i have a question, you say you are living with your counselor - does this mean that you have another relationship? Does she love you basically?
  5. BrokenIcarus

    BrokenIcarus Member

    Constantinos - No, we do not have a romantic relationship. We are, or were, like family, as neither of us have supportive family, but there is nothing more than that to our relationship beyond friendship - and I am questioning even that at this point.

    Thank you, all of you, for your words of suggestion and support. I suppose I need to give more of the story to let you all understand what has transpired and how I got to this place in my life, but I don't want to get in trouble for putting it in the welcome section, so I will write more elswhere in the forum.

    I am working on getting my own place - but I have been drained, emotionally, financially and physically.

    YES, I did graduate with my MA, and am actually planning on going back to school again. I register this week and start classes in January. I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up!

    Now, it is just finding the strength and support to keep going and not just sit back and give up.

    I will post more in another topic forum. I hope to talk to you all more.

    Thanks again.
  6. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Brokenicarus, think you are wise in getting back a living situation without this counselor in a 24/7 role.. i love my therapist but all the time would be way too much.. work toward getting your indenpenence again..

    best wishes and good luck to you.. tc, Jim
  7. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the clarification!

    I'll be on the lookout for this!

    I am happy to hear that you are in the process of getting your own place and also are progressing with school - these are important steps.
  8. Lurker.In.The.Night

    Lurker.In.The.Night New Member

    It feels as though you are being taken advantage of by your former therapist. she had the power in the situation and she used it against you.
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