I tried to end it all, but fate intervened, I was found unconscious but still alive. This week has been hellish, side effects include multiple infections, painful, irritating.. Somehow even thru it all, I am feeling better. By better I mean, not quite so tortured with suicidal thoughts. It only crosses my mind a couple times a day instead of a relentless barrage of self hate. Also better.. I feel connected more with some friends and taking interest in hobbies. I have a lot of difficult life changing events coming up, I hope I can survive them without feeling too out of control. I worry for me. I hope I can handle it. I'm scared.