Over it all.

[Gem_Gem]

Hey i'm new to the whole forum thing.

I have been feeling really horrible today, well the past week really. I can't take it anymore, I never have any good days and I know that everyone around me will be better off without me. I feel so selfish for talking like this but it's so true I am good for nothing. I also recently started taking meds I don't know if they are having anything to do with the way I am feeling but I can't take it anymore.

I just want to end it.

Sorry if I shouldn't be posting this.

 

[1victor]

Any meds will effect your chemical balance. Maybe you should do the research on whatever you are taking.
I do not know what problem you have there but just in case you may want to know that 80% diseases in this world are self-cured.

 

[bubblin girl]

Hi
how are you?
welcome to SF
thats not true.im sure everybody care about you & nobody is better off without you.& you need to fight thise thoughts.could you tell us what happnd today?whats going on to feel like that?maybe somebody give you agood advice?
medication is takeing alot of time to start the good effect.could you give them a chance tell they start working.I hope you feel better soon.
take care :hug:

 

[Gem_Gem]

Hey thanks for your reply

I'm kinda feeling alright now.

My family are better off without me. I make them miserable as well as everyone else around me. I don't really know what made me feel so horrible yesterday but it started after a guy texted me a guy who sexually abused me a couple of months ago and I have never told anyone about it and just tried to forget about it as I felt like I must have deserved it. Him texting me just made me feel really worthless and that I deserve to die.

I know I should wait for the medication to start working but I feel like I have no future and so badely just want to give up. I hate thinking like this I know it's so selfish of me as my life isn't as bad as many other people in the world, but I really can't handle it any longer.

 

[total eclipse]

YOur pain is your pain and you need to express it and get it out of you. This guy who assaulted you block his name on computer in your phone block it so you can't recieve anything from him. Also report him to police it doesn't mean you have to take him to court just report him so police are aware of what he is capable. of. I am sorry you are suffering but know these medication take up to 6 weeks to work fully so give them time. Let your GP know if you are having any bad sad effects though. Also seek therapy okay get your GP to set you up with a psych doctor or councillor who deals with sexually assault Don't let this idiot destroy your life okay get help so you can move on take care of you.

 

[Gem_Gem]

Thanks

I know I should have reported him before and still should. I duno I'm still scared to. I'm scared if I do he will find out and hurt me, and I still feel I deserved it maybe I did something to make him do that to me.

I am currently seeing a psychiatrist, but I don't want to tell her about him. I don't want her to tell my family as I don't want them to worry about me.

I really just want to give in to these thoughts.

 

[total eclipse]

I think telling your psychiatrist is the only way she can help you heal. Psychiatrist cannot tell anyone anything it is the law everything has to be kept confidential. Can't even tell your parents unless you want them too. Telling the police will get you protection you need from him but you can only do what makes you feel safe and better. I really feel if you tell your psych doctor you will get the help you need to feel better . I am glad you came here for support because we understand we really do no one judges anyone here but what he did was wrong you did nothing wrong okay if you said no then he raped you no is no. court is very hard but telling police they will scare him to keep him away. please tell your psych doctor as noone else will know. take care

 

[Gem_Gem]

Yea I guess. I find it so hard talking to people face to face. I have had like 4 counsellors give up on me, I just don't know if I will be able to tell her. Let alone tell the police.

I feel like I have no one now. This guy use to be my friend and by doing this i can't hang out with any of my mates as he is always there. So I am now isolated and can't talk to anyone.

I wish I had done something ... anything to stop him. I can't stop thinking about what he did and his text just put me over the edge like he acts like it's what I deserved.

I duno if I can carry on anymore.

Actually I am almost positive I can't.

 

[Stranger1]

Hey Melissa report him to the police.. If nothing else they can issue a restaining order to keep him away from you..If he violates that then he will go to jail..You did tell him no and he didn't stop so it was rape..You did nothing wrong..As violet said block him on your computer so he can't play mind games with you..I think you need to be honest with your phsychiatrist.. They can only help if they know what is going thru your mind..We all care here so don't be afraid to post.. Let it out, don't hold back it will help with the stress..You have every right to vent here as everyone else does..I hope you take some of the advice given to you..Take Care!!

 

[amberly18]

Hey Melissa,

Try to hang in there...the meds take FOREVER to work, it seems! But, maybe, you'll be lucky and they'll help!

 

[total eclipse]

The councillors that gave up on you were not too professional in my opinion. If they could not help you then transferring you to someone who could would be best way to help. Right now you need councilling about your assault. You need to know how to get through this and how to move on. Sexual Assault coucilling will also teach you how to prevent this from happening again give you warning signs red lights to look for. Please talk to someone as none of this was your fault and please keep posting it is the only way to get the pain out.

 

[Gem_Gem]

Thanks for your replies

Last night I had full intentions of going to the police station, but I wanted to go alone becuase know one else knows about it. So I was out with mates and told them i had to go do something and on the way walking there the guy who did it and his mates drove past and started walking with me. I was so freaked out I didn't know if I should keep walking towards to police station ....

im so friken stupid

He firgured out where I was going and all his stupid gang mates made me go to there car. I was screaming right outside the police station .... yet nothing.

Worst night of my life .... I feel so gross and i'm so pathetic

Screw trying to live ... my lifes over anyway.