Well today We had to take cat to the vet to be put down :sad: . It was the first time I've cried for a reason that wasn't bullshit in a while. Alot of the time I was thinking about cutting. But when I grabbed the razor when I got home I was just completely disgusted and threw it down. So hopefully this is a positive sign. Although it came at too great a cost. I would rather be a terrible cutter the rest of my live and have my cat back than what happened :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: .