Over (may trigger)

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by troubledprincess, Mar 16, 2012.

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  1. troubledprincess

    troubledprincess Well-Known Member

    i have tried to stay strong for so many people but i cant do it anymore i thought going back to college would make me feel better but im even more depressed.
    i had to have a emergency MRI scan on my back yesterday it did not go great i had a couple of panic attacks but they are saying that it can be 3 months or more before they will do a op on my back i cant take this pain for that long.
    i have cut tonight deeper then normal and od tonight i just dont want to do it anymore.
    to top it off my mum is still saying i should just kill myself i have tried and it has not worked im just sleepy.
    i just give up sorry
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Hi there,

    I wish you weren't in this world of hurt, but welcome to the club! I can only hope that your Mother did not mean those words with which she spoke to you of your own death. Believe me, she would be devastated, and irreparably scarred for life.... As for the return to school--good for you! Give your self some credit for taking such a positive step in what could be viewed as risky, but likely well worth the reward. And I'd be quite surprised, honestly, if it did not go a little shaky from the start. That's perfectly normal! Unless of course, your health is just not up to it to be back at your studies just yet. In which case, simply take a break until you've got these issues addressed, or further under control. I can identify with the crippling back pain, I hope that you can get that worked out because nothing is worse than that, along with depression. They seem to feed into and off of one another--almost like a tag team effort! In any case, I wish you the best and just want you to know that you've got an awful lot good going for you, even if you can't quite see what I can see! So, good luck, and take care.
  3. troubledprincess

    troubledprincess Well-Known Member

    things are going from bad t worse i od twice last night.
    trust me my mum means it is said that im the worse thing that has every happened to her
    i feel that i dont belong here on this earth anymore im such a failure i cant even kill myself .
    my back hurts more then ever and cant take that pain any longer i swear the doctor thinks it dont hurt
    i just want my life over sleep for ever.
  4. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I believe that your Mom is speaking out of frustration and sounds overly emotional to me if she's truly thinking such ill and evil thoughts. I am truly sorry if she doesn't love you, but maybe it's just difficult to tell, for certain. I don't know, whatever the case may be, forget her for now, and focus on you. Specifically, getting better, starting with your health! I know that the back is going to make you make some decisions that you might otherwise not make. In other words, you'll do whatever it takes to take the pain away. Even if that means checking out. This is not good. Hopefully they can correct the root of the problem with the surgery, and perhaps they can issue you some drugs to treat the pain until then. There are options! No matter what, you've got to do your best to stop overdosing. That's disastrous to your health--both in the short and potentially long term! I think that if you can find a friend to talk to, that might help, even more than you could possibly imagine. And don't worry too much about college, it'll still be there when you get your condition under control and regain your strength. You can definitely do it, I have confidence in you, and your positive qualities. I honestly feel that you'd be making the call based upon all the wrong reasons. But that's just me!
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2012
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm so sorry that your mom said all that to you. I don't think you should kill yourself, and you are not a failure and you do deserve to be here. You deserve a lot of good in this life. Things are bad now but they can get better. Like MisterBGone said, there must be a solution to your back pain. College can be stressful, but there are ways that stress can be managed. It's something I'm working on...I know it can be hard, but you can get through it.
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Honey, Sarah - I've got a daughter called Sarah and know your name means Princess....... I am so sorry that your mum is saying these things to you...... is there anyway you can talk to a doctor and tell him exactly how you're feeling emotionally and the atmosphere you're in at home? Don't worry about betraying your mum out of a sense of loyalty or anything 'heroic' like that - it sounds like your environment is not good for you right now. You are a precious Princess, and you are loved, really deeply and truly loved :love: your mum is not showing this for you, and I am so sorry - it's hard to believe. You are your #1 priority honey.
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