it couldn't be anymore hopeless i just want it to be over already no one has to agree. it is the only thing in my life that i will have control over. i dont have a friend, or a lover, a parent, or a child that cares. discussing it is of no value as i am worth nothing to anyone. letter is done and i will email it to one person the day i decide to take the plunge. its funny as i look back at the past few months i can see the preparation i have put into this. i have attempted several times in the past and made it my business to learn from the failed attempts. Its ok, it is all good now. i dont want help just wanted to ramble on. sometimes when you see it in writing it helps to make sense.