Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gnomepunter, Jan 20, 2010.

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  1. gnomepunter

    gnomepunter New Member

    first off im 24 fucking years old.im tired and sick of seeing
    everyone around me so godamn happy and cheery,and hugging up
    to thier significant other while im left here to fucking rot
    into this useless sorry excuse i call a motherfucking life
    that just tends to slap me everytime it gets the slightest chance.
    im tired of going to sleep everynight just to wake up thinking
    someone cares enough to actually give me the time of day.
    just to realize the something im clamped onto is nothing
    more than cotton wrapped in linen.and you all keep saying hey
    think about the people who have less than you well as selfish as
    it maybe i have to say FUCK them they are not me i have to deal
    with my problems not theirs,i dont want this to be mistaken as a cry for
    attention.all i want all ive ever wanted was to be recognized
    as something as anything.why wont this happen for me.lonly
    breeds insanity but insanity breeds clarity.by clarity i mean it
    helps me to see just how fucking useless and insignificant i really am.
    i have noone who wants to hold me at night noone who wants to embrace me
    in the end well i have noone who cares.i can feel the thoughts creeping
    into my mind at first it sounded like a stupid thing but while im sitting here
    contemplating holding the instrument of my potential undoing it starts to look
    very much inviting.i mean honestly the immense feel of nothing has grown
    to the point there really is nothing else.i used to be a different person
    but now this who i am and as i writing this i might as well goahead
    and touch on my biggest fear (dieing alone) but im sorry to say it
    dieing soon and alone makes much more since than living alone.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I can't watch a lot of tv because I can't stand seeing people being "normal." I have learned that there ususally someone around who wants to get to know me better but are to shy themselves to say or do anything.

    Maybe hold your head up and look around for people who are shy and lonely.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Just wanted you to know that I read your post and care. Hope you'll keep posting here. You can PM me if you want to talk.
  4. gnomepunter

    gnomepunter New Member

    thx for taking the time to read my post
  5. SelfMadePrison

    SelfMadePrison Banned Member

    Thanks for posting and reaching out.
    I will also encourage you to continue to post and hopefully you can find some solace and friendships in the mix of us who make up the long term community of SF.

    I do want to touch base on some of my perceptions.. I may be wrong, I am not sure.
    Honestly the reason your alone is because you have made yourself alone, cut yourself off, become someone other then who you were meant to be.. focusing to much on what you dont have and not living .. we cant ever live in yesterday and neither can we live in tomorrow, right now our heart beats and our breath comes and goes.. only you can make the change in your life to do something different to reclaim that which brought you joy before... I'm not saying suck it up cause obviously that is something very few people can ever do.. A blessing is a blessing and a pain is a pain so I dont subscribe to the look at those whom are less fortunate crap, cause it does nothing for your or my emotional state... but enough of me blabbing.

    Have you reached out to any professionals in your area? what support network do you have?
  6. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I was just like you, some years ago, and I'm still angry like that sometimes still. But I try to focus on myself more, and take care of myself more, and less of what people can say. They don't know you're right, no one can know what anyone feels like. But we can hear and support. Here that's what we do :)
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