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Overcoming Trust issues? :|

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Smashed__, May 12, 2008.

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  1. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    "Dear mum,
    The fact I love you more than life itself is becoming more apparent with each passing day. You Keep me alive, breathing and here.
    You are the biggest thread holding me together and you have wound around me tightly.
    When I am feeling low and worthless you always seem to see more.
    When I breakdown and reach for my only vice- you are there to pick up the pieces.
    I am trying to trust and open myself internally but no matter how much I think I have there is always a dark corner,
    in the back of my mind, where my deepest fears are stored.
    I see them over again and begin to worry.
    I feel like I know you will never leave me but the fear is still there.
    It eats at me from inside until I finally crumble and get reassurance.

    I am not good with gifts but I wanted to try and do something that I know would count more than a little while.
    Today is Mother's Day and my biggest gift is to have faith.
    I am going to stop letting my fear destroy my trust and tell me 'it's coming'.
    I am going to trust you and tell myself everyday that no matter how angry I make you,
    how much I change about myself or how sick I am you will be there for me.
    I am going to try and reassure myself before I break down.
    I know this isn't anything most mothers want but I feel like it will take the most effort and it is coming from the heart.

    I love you and I hope one day I will be okay.

    I wrote this to my mother and gave it to her mother's day evening. She hugged me, and when she pulled away she was crying.
    I guess it was a 'good cry' since it was followed with a "If you really mean it.......It's all I could ask for". I felt really good inside but I'm so scared I'll fail and give in again. :(
    Has anyone overcome major trust issues(especially with a parent) resulting from the other parent? :sad: -sigh-
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    that is a beautiful letter, really from the heart.

    i don't have trust issues (with my parents at least) so i can't give you any advice. still, i'd about the being scared that you will fail, please just re-read your letter as many times as you need and say to yourself i will "stop letting fear destroy my trust."
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm a mom and your letter really touched me. Any mom would of loved to get a letter like that. It shows right there how much you trust in giving such deep feelings to your parent. That you trust them enough to confide your deepest fears and feelings. Every parent prays that when those issues arise that their child will trust enough and feel comfortable enough to turn to them when they need to. You are on the right path and have taken a step in the right direction. Thank you for sharing that wonderfully loving letter. Your mom is a very lucky person to have you hun. And you are so lucky to have a mom who is understanding and loving. Keep turning to her when you need help or comfort. It will do wonders for both of you!!
  4. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    dazzle, I'm doing like you suggested.. I keep reading it and thinking about her face.

    Thank you itmahanh, I will keep trying..I guess thats all I can do at this point.
    I do feel lucky to have her, I just always feel like a person can only take so much.. and aside from my sisters I know I am pushing her limits as far as my mental & physical health goes. I am going to give it my all and -try- to have faith.. something I haven't had in years.
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