Overdose - bad experience

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by StangerInAStrangeLand, Apr 5, 2008.

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  1. StangerInAStrangeLand

    StangerInAStrangeLand Well-Known Member

    Howdy All,

    About a month ago I did a full months supply of <strong pills> with a whole bunch of hard alcohol (I think it was 3-5 fifths, we have four bottles here, I had someone else drinking with me). Thought it would kill me - the <strong pills> alone is almost impossible to OD on - but when combined with alcohol people are supposed to have severe (lethal) seizures or be able to drink a lot more alcohol and OD on that.

    Ever since that day I feel like I am permanently drunk. I don't drink during the week because I have so much school work. Now I cannot seem to shake the lightheaded and abstracted kind of mindset. I've also had trouble moving (like I did on Risperdal) - not sure if I actually had a seizure or not. I am dizzy all the time. I can't sleep, but I'm incredibly fatigued all the time (can't seem to move from bed) - lost about 10lbs because I couldn't get myself food this past month.

    One of my dorm mates agreed to take me to the hospital in this town
    - they said my liver and kidneys are functioning properly, and that I do not have any other affliction except malnutrition and stress (my B-vitamin level was really low, and I had a high cortisol level).

    Hard to argue when doctors tell you nothing is wrong; think I might of had a seizure, but the doc said he couldn't check that. Making it really hard to think straight - added to some of my problems.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 5, 2008
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    when you went to the hospital did you tell them that you had overdosed and what you had used?

    i ask, because i wonder after checking you out if they offered you some psych support. in addition to the physical consequences, there are emotional after-shocks following an attempt. that might be contributing to your exhaustion.
  3. StangerInAStrangeLand

    StangerInAStrangeLand Well-Known Member

    Howdy dazzle,

    Didn't tell the hospital folks anything 'bout my mental Dx or my feelings (they didn't ask); that's the easiest way to get stuck in the mental ward for a while (don't think I can handle that right now). I am sure they just thought I was some kind of junkie with benzo's and whatnot in my system. Just posted on the Crisis Forum - not feeling too great.
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    saw your other post and responded there.

    if you didn't tell them about what happened then they probably can't run all the right tests, but more to the point, they can't help you get better.

    and if at least some small part of you didn't want to get better then why go to the hospital? alot of places do intensive outpatient programs now, so there's no certainty that you'd be admitted, esp since you don't want that.
  5. StangerInAStrangeLand

    StangerInAStrangeLand Well-Known Member

    I have a feeling they knew I am severely depressed - they just didn't want to approach the issue. For god sake - I told them I couldn't get out of bed and I wasn't able to feed myself - told them I've been feeling like I can't survive and I've been having panic attacks - they didn't ask any further questions. This world is a pretty messed up place - people don't really care - they feign intrest in keeping you alive - it's more to give them an ego boost on the feeling they are helping others; as soon as you approach a serious issue or something they find taboo they drop interest and try to avoid the real issue at hand.

    Here (on this forum) at least people understand how bad things get and don't feign thier feelings for thier own ego boost - they have been to the edge and know what it's like. Thank you dazzle - your supportive words help more than you know.

    PS My depression doesn't phase in and out (it's not a bad dream, more like a bad life consistantly) - it's been pretty constant since I was a very small child (when I held a butcher knife to my throat and cut my moms fingers as she tried to keep my from sliting my own throat - I was 6 years old). Sometimes I just feel less suicidal than others - it's always in the back of mind though - sometimes I give up on suicide and try to live as if I'm at my most basic, no talking, just eating, sleeping, and finding ways of escape from this tormenting reality.
  6. Shyfear

    Shyfear Well-Known Member

    Hey, I'm sorry that you're still feeling shitty.

    I'm not positive on this, but I believe that overdosing sometimes causes your brain to swell, which may cause some of the symptoms you're having. It may also be due to intercranial pressure.

    After one of my overdoses I felt a lot like you did, but it only lasted for about a week. It could be a possibility that since the pills were strong that the substance is still lingering in your system. Was it an anti depressent that you used? or something that reacts to neurotransmitters?

    Everytime I've woken up from an overdose I always looked on Wrongdianosis.com for my symptoms to see what damage I had done. I find it pretty helpful. Though in the end you may have to go to a doctor to get it to stop. I know that's really hard, I've been having a lot of problems since my last overdose (which was also about a month ago) but refuse to go there. Doctors are generally assholes.

    I hope this helped a little. And I hope you feel better soon! If you ever need someone to talk to about anything, please pm me. I'm a good listener <3

    Much love <3
  7. StangerInAStrangeLand

    StangerInAStrangeLand Well-Known Member

    Howdy shyfear,

    I did a < mod edit Hazel: method > - along with all the fifths - I think my brain might have swelled - not sure though - from what I read benzo's bind to the GABA receptors (70% of the brain is GABA receptors), and alcohol primarily acts on the GABA receptors as well. If they knew in the hospital from my levels I wonder why they didn't ask about my mental state - I'm sure it was pretty obvious even after a few days (the half life of the benzo I took is about 12 hours - so a months supply should have been at OD limits still at the hospital). Not sure if I bonked my head while I was in that state - may have and just don't remember it. Lost a day or two there - absolutely no memory - people have told me what I did - nothing too crazy - just going to eat and picking up coffee from someone at the coffee shop that is an acquaintance - that and taking more pills I bought from someone I know.

    Feel free to PM or IM me as well - not sure how long I'll be around - but heck, as long as someone can feel better I'll try to help.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2008
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