overdose to die or just cry for help .

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by ksb, May 2, 2010.

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  1. ksb

    ksb New Member

    hi all ,

    I am on the other side my partner takes overdoses and cuts but im confused he says he wants to die but i feel the amount he take wouldnt kill a fly let alone a human .Is this just a cry for help do you think . I ring his consultant up and they just say he is in crisis he will come out of it .

    I dont understand why people want to put there loved one through this again and again . talking about when was the last time etc ......just seems like you all think its a game its not to the family waiting for that day you succseed.
  2. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    i took an OD a couple weeks ago and even though i wanted to die at the time, i called my fiance straight away and told him to call an ambulance. so maybe it was just a cry for help, i dunno. but whatever reasons your partner did it for, you need to support them. a cry for help is called "help" for a reason.
  3. Vagrant

    Vagrant Account Closed

    I read up your message and when i ended up to ;

    It seems that he /cry'd for attention or help, he's probably uncomfortable to talk about suicide whit somebody and the only way he founded we're to attempt, (I won't call it an attempt "the amount he take wouldnt kill a fly") But i won't fuck with it, and take him to the hospital.

    ^^^ Well sam86, if you really want to die, you wouldn't call anybody.
  4. ksb

    ksb New Member

    i have been supporting him for years this is not the first attempt i couldnt tell you what number the attemt is . I have done every think to support him , this is making me bad awell i have to see a counseller for all this .

    Im asking How can people keep attempting to take overdoes but not really do it to die.... its spitefull to put partners through the pain of all this.

    then the next day he rings up with a "hello" has if nothing has happened

    DONT YOU DARE CLAIM I HAVENT BEEN SUPPORTIVE I HAVE ive even been accused of not looking after my children by putting him first !!!!
  5. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    i never accused you of anything. i was just giving advise. never mind then
  6. Vagrant

    Vagrant Account Closed

    It's called Attention or Crying for HELP or He do harm himself with OD's that's all..
  7. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    When I o'd I wanted to die, and was very embarrased at hospital.

    I talk about it on here, because it is the only place I can talk about it. It is definately not a game. You can;'t actually bring it up in conversation without freaking people out.
  8. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    KSB, since none of us have met your boyfriend, we can only guess at what he is thinking. And of course we don't know what underlying mental problems he may have.

    But you need to start taking care of yourself. Is his behaviour a cry for help? Maybe. Or maybe it is a way of manipulating those around him, or maybe it's a lot of other things.

    But if this is causing you to have problems, and hurting you and your kids, you need to stop trying to always help him.

    You mentioned some of the programs he has tried to get into, do they know he is threatening suicide and OD'ing? If so, I don't know how they can just write it off. They should either get him help, or do something. In any case, we are all ultimately responsible for ourselves.

    So, maybe it's time for you to start putting up some boundaries, and making sure you and your kids are taken care of. He may continue to threaten suicide, or he may actually do it. You can refer him onto hotlines, programs, this site, or anywhere you think he can get help. But going down with him won't help him, and it may ruin you or your children.

    I sure wish you well.
  9. ballinluig

    ballinluig Well-Known Member

    from what i can see my reading ur post u try and help as much as u can. I presume from how ur talking this is been going on for a while? Forgive me for asking is this relationship solid? have u been together long?

    It sounds like ur really pissed off with him and his problems, and it is hard for someone to support a boyfriend/spouse etc with so many problems going on. Does he have a cpn/psychiatrist who can help more and who u can talk to to get ur feeling out apart from u seeing ur councillor.

    I am not at all trying to be patrinizing (sorry not a good at spelling) but folk who do od are asking for help, usually if u want out full stop they would take enuf stuff to do the job, if as u put it didnt take enough to kill a fly, then he is asking for help, more than what hes getting.

    I hope u manage to get some help for you and your family.
    god bless donnax:smile:
  10. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    I agree with carekitty. You have to start looking after yourself because you said he's done this a lot and doesn't take very much by the sound of it, so imo, it sounds like a cry of help and attention. Attention isn't a bad thing, but it sounds like he needs more help than you can give him and what he's doing could really be hurting your children as well. I think it's best to look after yourself and put you and your children's needs above his right now because you aren't a professional and can only offer so much of yourself. If he really wants help, he'll get it and he'll take advice offered by others. But until he's ready, he won't. I really hope you start putting yourself and your kids first and get help if you need it as well.
  11. riddle

    riddle Member

    Human beings are capable of having more than one motivation at the same time. We can really want to die at the same time as really wanting help. It makes us very it confusing. That being said, anyone in the grips of a suicidal depression isn't really capable of being a full partner in a relationship. If it is the person's first depression or if they are seeking help maybe someone else can support them anyways, but you cannot support someone who is drowning you and that's what is sounds like your boyfriend is doing.
  12. ksb

    ksb New Member

    thankyou for all your replies , i have got my partner addmitted into the mental health unit . I took him to a and e last wed and stressed to them how this cannot carry on it is making the whole family ill. they addmitted him for a place of satey for a max of 10 days by that time he will have seen him consultant who will make a care plan for him so fingers and toes crossed he will get the help we all need for him .
  13. ballinluig

    ballinluig Well-Known Member

    kbs, well done, what a caring person. u cant go on the way u were, like u said it was making the whole family ill and swince ur partner couldnt cope it would of brought u down, then who would look after the rest of the family.

    I truely hope whilst in the unit all the possabilities are considered and help is given. i hope u get the help u need.
    I know my husband tried to help me but it wasnt that type of help i needed, it was and still is a mixture of the correct medication and a psychiatrist and my gp.but slowly over time things do get better, some days are not so good but we get through them together.
    god bless, take care donnaxx:IrishDoll:
  14. Georgy

    Georgy Account Closed

    No, I won't tell you you're not being supportive. I have plenty of people who want to support me in my life. And yet, I've overdosed 6 times now.

    When you're there, you're not thinking about those that you love. It doesn't mean that we don't love anyone. It just means that the pain is so great that we don't see any other avenues. Moreover, in that moment, we feel like if we're more of a burden than anything else. That people will get along just fine without us here. I don't want my friends and my family constantly worrying about me. And sometimes, that plays into the equation a little.

    I'll answer your first question too - even if he doesn't take "enough" to hurt a fly, it's still, IMO, gesturing suicide.

    I can only relate it to my experience - when I'm there, I'll take whatever. And then, when I start thinking about my life commitments, I start to panic and typically will call the emergency numbers. It doesn't mean that I didn't want to die. It just means that I have this split second of lucidity.

    I don't know if it makes sense, but I wanted to give you the perspective of someone who's on the other side of the table, so to speak.
  15. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Its really hard for the people around you to think you actually want to die and aren't just crying for help especially the more times you actually OD. its also hard for the person who is doing the OD'ing. I have OD'd many times and it seems to me that I want the outcome of dieing more and more each time and feel worse at each failure. But that last time I OD'd over easter weekend, I got really scared and ended up calling for help, it was probably one of my weaker OD's (if theres such a thing) and it had also been a year since last OD but I wanted to die so much but I got scared that I wouldn't succeed and the person I spoke to called an ambulance to help me.
    I suppose what I'm trying to say is please I know it is probably just as hard for you as it is for your partner but please take his attempts seriously, they dont want to hurt you - they just want to stop huting themselves.
    What you did was really helpful for both of you, I hope they have put support in place for you as you are just as important and need that support just as much to get you through this difficult time especially when you also have a family to consider. I hope you are ok x
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