Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jane1986, Sep 8, 2009.

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  1. Jane1986

    Jane1986 New Member

    I lost my boyfriend of 5 years around 8 weeks ago in a car crash. I'm at university 2 1/2 hrs away from my home town so for the past year didnt see him as much as i'd liked (considering before uni we spent 24/7 together). After his death i found out he'd been taking heroin since i left for uni. It totally broke my heart, i felt so angry, bitterly dissapointed but also very very sad for him. But it doesnt stop me loving him. See the thing is, i want to go with him. I cant bare the thought of ever moving on but considering im only 23 i dont want to be on my own for the rest of my life either. I hate the thought of hurting my friends and family, especially as my best friend lost her mother in November and is still grieving for her. I dont want my death to affect other peoples lives or even slow them down. I just want them to understand. <Mod edit: Methods> Im scared it will hurt or just be really slow and horrible. I am scared of death! Im not one of these people who has just had enough and doesnt care anymore. I am genuinely scared and feel so guilty for my loved ones. But life without my mike isnt life anymore, its pointless and i have so much to deal with, with all this heroin situation. My main question is about my method of suicide. Do u think i would be too out of it to know whats going on or do u think it would be slow and horrible? My second question is, do u think my death could stop my friend finishing her course at uni or end up with her hating me with having to deal with the death of her mum on top of this?
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2009
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Hi there,

    I've edited out the specific way that you said you'd commit suicide, as methods aren't allowed here - SF's a pro-life site..

    Take care
  3. PokerDonkey

    PokerDonkey Active Member

    There will be others, calm down :S
  4. Jane1986

    Jane1986 New Member

    lol well that messes up my main question then doesnt it! oh well, im not really here to be talked out of it. I didnt realise it was a pro life site. I just wanted some thoughts. Sorry Abacus, I do respect u have rules here and i didnt mean to break them.

    Take care

    DARKANG3L Member

    Hey hun

    umm ODing on heroin is not a nice way to die.. yes you would be totally out of it, and if you have second thoughts, it's normally too late by the time you have taken it to change your mind. What I am saying is, once you have taken it there is no turning back. With other method, there are ways to turn back or get help and say "shit I made a mistake".

    Also, your friend would not hate you but she maybe would find your death way too much on top of her already grieving. I guess what I am saying is that, she could completely lose it, end up in a psych ward or even consider taking her own life. Think about that..

    If you need to talk I am here, but you don't seem like you want to do it, which is a good thing. The loss of your partner is still very fresh, it will take you a lot of time to get over it, but you will need help. Suicide is not that answer though, just think, HE wouldn't want that.

    Take care
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