overdose

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by coffeekitten, Jun 11, 2010.

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  1. coffeekitten

    coffeekitten Active Member

    On feburary 13th 2007 i took an overdose. < Mod Edit Hazel: Methods > I already knew that overdose is hit or miss, some people end up dying 2 or 3 days later in alot of pain.

    at that time i was at a peak with my ocd, i was so delusional, i couldn't see any other option, i had missed work that day and my manager bullied me badly and i was terrified to faceing her again. and i knew my parents would be so angry at me losing my job. I came home and was crying and shaking and having a panic attack. I filled a bowl with all the pills and took handfuls with water, i think i took about 50 when i started to feel very sleepy. I felt very high and relaxed like i was on drugs, and then i fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later and threw up. and felt terrible. I got so scared i called my mum.

    she took me to hospital and i was throwing up some more. I got very confused and delerious, i felt really anxious and kept seeing demons around my bed. I am unsure if this was a glimsp of the afterlife, but i was still awake.

    I had to go on a 24 drip, and the doctor put the needle in the wrong part of my hand and it filled up with fluid the pain was terrible. During the night i felt the worst neausia i had ever felt before, because my liver was swelling up.

    the next day, my mum came to visit me and just talked about me getting back to work...

    i was sad it didn't work tbh.

    I think overall, calling my mum showed me maybe i was doing this for attention. But not to hurt anyone, i just didn't know what else to do. Humans by nature are afraid of death, i was afraid of living too though.

    and i still am. One thing i know though is i will never attempt a chemical suicide again.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 11, 2010
  2. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Same here. I learned to never trust chemicals again ten years ago. I have a different, more certain, 98.9987% success rate method in mind now.

    I'm glad you're alright.
     
  3. ofvanityandwax

    ofvanityandwax Active Member

    Nearly every one of my tries has been pills, but it's just been sleeping pills and I've never gone bad enough to go to the hospital, but I've never been found, either. I still don't get how I'm still here when I took 30,000 mg of pills. I really don't understand it.
     
  4. Alex_M

    Alex_M Member

    Yes. I have OD'd.

    When I used chemicals and almost committed suicide, I didn't even know consciously that I wanted to die. Sometimes under influence of chemicals, we can make decisions we wouldn't make otherwise.
     
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