people see suicide as a bad thing? when i took an overdose 3 yr ago it was because i was happy, i was smiling all day and had never felt so relaxed, when i took the overdose it was easy, no worrying about anything just plonked the pills down. it was only after a certain point that i cannot remember that other people saw me and had become aware of what had happened and rushed me to hospital in a very frenzied and unpleasant manner. once i woke up the next day and remembered why i was in hospital i did feel dissappointed, in myself. mainly for failing to reach my goal, not in any way for the act id tried to do. before i was allowed to leave hospital they had to give me a psychiatric analysis, this must have been one of the funniest points ever, they sat me there and in that childish tone asking me whether i had really wanted to die....duh! then asking whether i heard voices in my head-my reply being "uh one minute, bob, jeff, john, joe....no, no, no, no......nah we dont hear voices" after ther eventually released me i was in my mothers boyfriends car on the way home, out in the countryside, and we passed a field being ploughed, i had the closest thing to an epiphany at that point. it was beautiful, the farmer ploughing in the bright sun, the seagulls following closely behind. whether i was there or not, alive or dead, the farmer would still plough, churn the soil with the gulls following closely to grab the merest morsel of food, the sun would still have shone as bright glimmering of all the leaves and hedges with a beautiful shine to the clear sky. farmer would have still went home, ate, slept, dreamt, woke and toiled again... life goes on, nevermind being minute on a cosmic scale we are minute on a human scale. it was enlightening. nice.