Overload

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Archon, Oct 18, 2011.

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  1. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    I hoped never to come back here for this reason :(

    Everything around me seems to be dying,commiting suicide and contemplating it. It's spiked me. I have the urge to kill myself, but i dont want to. I have things to look forward to, but i cant stand the moment, someone please help.
     
  2. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    I can't help but feel like we're on similar sinking ships. May I ask what's up at the moment?
     
  3. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    I had a friend who killed himself recently, he was a great guy, the first conversation i ever had with him was about suicide funnily enough. He's dead now, i found out recently. Another one of my friends wants to kill herself because she's reached 16 and cant be bothered living any more. All around me i see movies about death, i hear references, it's all overloading. It makes me lust for death, i shouldnt want it, i for once have a stable life, and now, i have the urge to die.
    archon.kikkawa@gmail.com MSN
    i really need someone to talk to, please
     
  4. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Here, may I suggest going on the Chat Room provided here? I'll be on there, in the Triggering chat room.
     
  5. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    I can't i'm on limited moderation, i cannot accses the caht room otherwise i'd be there right now, i need a one onn one.
     
  6. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Well, I'm here right now.

    Have you thought of the after effect if you ever go through with it? That always slows me down.
     
  7. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    The last after effect, has damaged me nuerologically permanantlly, It's painful, i do not want to go through the same experiences of the last.

    But as for the after effects of if i succeed, i cant care. I dont know why but i have never been able to care about how others would feel if i'm gone
     
  8. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    You wouldn't care how devastated your family would be, how awful your friends would feel? Would it bother you at all if, like your friend, your death was triggering another's suicide? Would there be anything you missed from this world, your life?
     
  9. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    I would miss my girlfriend, i knwo she would become suicidal, we met in a mental hospital, but my friends death has got me thinking again. As for my family, i hate them, i want them to suffer, i have been trying to get away from them for ages. Besides that right now i couldnt care about anyone else's feelings
     
  10. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    So live, if only for your girlfriend. Live, if only to prove to your family or yourself that you CAN escape them. Prove to them that you are stronger, that you can make them suffer without hurting those you truly care about.
     
  11. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    I want to live, i honestly do, it's soo hard right now, i have lethal weapons in my room, i need them for certain activities, but the urge to use them is soo strong.

    I know i'm stronger then my family. I feel so down right now,i can barely type. I'm just so confused.
     
  12. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Then you can do this :) Do you have anywhere to go this morning? Work, school, or something?
     
  13. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    I live in australia, it's 10 pm i have school tomrow, i'm not looking forward to it.
     
  14. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Ah...I'm in America, East Coast. I have have school in 20 minutes, and I am not looking forward to it either. Perhaps...well, your girlfriend must know you better, if you talk to her, perhaps she can cheer you up or at least help you struggle through the night?
     
  15. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    I dont want to talk to her, cos i care about her feelings, i'm afraid she'll get depressed cos she has every other time i ahve talked to her about my own depression
     
  16. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Ah. Do you have any other close friends that know about this?
     
  17. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    I cant talk to the people i know about it, i dont know why, i think it's mainly because they dont understand.
     
  18. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Hm, I understand. I know it sounds weird...but do you use some sort of medium to express yourself? Maybe writing, art, music...?
     
  19. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    Ye sbut i cant disscuss it due to the nature of SF
     
  20. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    ...If so, I assume it is not really "beneficial" to yourself, more like self harm?
     
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