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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BlackPegasus, Jan 27, 2008.

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  1. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    I have to admit the way I think about suicide now, compared to the way I thought about it before has changed. It used to be wishful thinking. Wanting to escape the pain I was in for 10 years but not being fully aware of how bad that pain really was. Now the pain of 10 years of abuse has shown itself in it entirety and suicide has become a matter of desperation to escape the pain. It is actually quite frightening because it's almost instinctual. Like two primal parts of me fighting. I have never in my whole life felt this depth of pain. I've been through a lot of things. I've survived a lot of situations. If feels funny to survive so much only to be taken down by my emotions.
  2. tesseract

    tesseract Well-Known Member

    attempting to evade pain, is a natural and totally accepted instinct. Don't worry. It's totally normal. Our emotions dictate our physical status a lot.

    I've been seeing your posts on the forums a lot now, I guess life is getting hard on you. I however, cannot see if me, or anyone on the forum is actually helping. I strongly advise you seek professional help, seeing as, however kind words I (or anyone on the board) come up with, I doubt it will take your pain away..

    Hang in there, keep strong.
  3. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    If you go onto youtube they have comedy sketches n stuff to make you laugh. I go there when I need a good laugh. Which is every day. Life sucks. Death is a blessing.
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    You can always try doing what I do and dissociate from your emotions. Yeah, I live a pretty emotionally detached life. Although sometimes I feel more like a robot.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    hang in there hun :hug:
  6. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    everyone is taken down by their emotions, everyone. the mind is the most powerful part of the human body..what you need to do is .... get away from him? theres no reason a wonderful individual like yourself should have to suffer like that..
  7. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    Hey everyone. I really appreciate you responses. It means so much to me and it does help knowing people care.

    I was doing okay till yet another letter arrived from my in-laws. Seems like every time I get a grip the in-laws do something to mess it up.

    As far as seeking professional help that's what I've been trying to do. The domestic violence center didn't call me back last week so i left another message today. if they don't call tomorrow I'm calling another mental health facility they gave me a number to. Maybe they can get me some low cost counseling. There is such a long list for everything. I was lucky to get a doctors appointment in 3 weeks.
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