Overreacting

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by mpang123, Dec 27, 2013.

  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    This is about my relationship with a neighbor of mine, not a romantic one. I saw her on Christmas day and I asked her why she don't ever visit me? Well, she got real upset and text me a long text explaining how bad a friend I have been to her all this time. Well, I told her I never knew I hurt her and I tried to apologize. Then she started accusing me of horrific things that I have done to her or implied to her and she went WAAY out of proportion. She is trying to put a guilt trip on me and wallow in self-pity accusing me of things that I have never said or done. I am not going to put up with this because she is way out of line and I will avoid her hostile feelings about me. My life will go on.
     
  2. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Sounds a bit over the top. Though it's Christmas time, and peoples emotions are high, they want to spend time with people and friends, so...

    I'll be honest though, how you ask someone what you asked her can define the outcome. Asking her why she doesn't come over to visit may not be the best way of doing it because that puts weight on her. A better way may be to say "Ah, we never hang out anymore, are you free to come down sometime this week?" Or something like that. That way it doesn't put a strong emphasis on the past(thus making someone feel indirectly guilty) and shares the "responsibility" of keeping a good friendship going in a balanced fashion. Also, it doesn't put too much pressure on when you get together, making it relaxed, as a friendship should be.

    Just, keep in mind the time of year. I'm not trying to make excuses for bad behavior, but things like this are rarely about your situation. Sounds more like she's just stressed out and you poked at the wrong time unfortunatly.
     
  3. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Well, i think the damage is done. Both ways. I think time will heal itself, hopefully.
     
  4. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Hopefully it smooths down sooner rather then later :) But yeah, excessive verbal/textual abuse for something so small is not right. Sorry that happened in anycase.
     
  5. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Another one of my neighbors who's close to her told her to leave me alone. She said we should both leave each other alone for awhile. We agreed.