Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bobby22, Aug 22, 2007.

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  1. bobby22

    bobby22 New Member

    All my life i've been overweight. As a kid, people laughed at me all the time, they never asked me to play with them.. kids never wanted a fat boy to play with them... parents looked at me weirdly and i could read in their eyes "that boy will become obese as the others, he should stop eating sweets".. i was always ashamed of eating in front of others and it happened when i had to eat in the toilet of the school, crying out of dignity.. i had no confidence.. i've never dated in my life, i never talked to a girl with flirt.. i talked very little at school as nobody wanted to be my friend.. I've tried all i could to be perfect, i've been on diet, i've starved .. i've tried to exercise, i've taken xenical, phentermine, alli. nothing works for me. everybody is against me, everything is against me in life.. even god or satan refuses me in heaven or hell.. i've tried to take my life... i've been in front of a car.. what a shame.. i've been to hospitals where i kept gaining weight. the driver is cursing me as he had to pay for reparation of his car.. i hate life. why am i so obese? why can't i be handsome? why? i know nothing in life. i've failed almost all my subjects, i'm not finding any jobs. who would want a failure like me? do i have any reason to live? i don't . i don't want to live. i want to leave everything, it never really mattered anyway.. .
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    You to need to come to terms with your body, you need to embrass the "inner you"!
    People are so mean in the world today, just because of the way someone looks they are socially excluded. It seems that if you arent stick thin and look like a modle then you are "diffeent" I hate this and its what causes some of my pain. NJo acceptance. For you if your weight is a big problem, go to your doc, it could have harmful effects on your health in the future...
  3. stayorgo

    stayorgo Member

    Hello Bobby,
    Don't let idiots control your life. Have you been to an endocronolgist to have your thyroid gland and pituitary gland checked out. These are 2 reasons for obese people. People don't realize sometimes it isn't what you eat, but the way god has made us. If you go to the specialist try to find one that specializes in these 2 areas. I have a thyroid problem and have been reading up on thyroid and pituitary gland problems. I wend to my doc at the end of july to have my thyroid checked, he said it was fine, well its not. I finally made an appointment with an endocronologist this past friday, and he said he could tell by feeling my thyroid it isn't normal. he said it was enlarged and to firm. he ran all kind of blood work. i find out in 3 weeks. i've become so lifeless over the last few years. no desires, gained weight, don't leave the house, i just want to be left alone. you want somebody and i want to be left alone. relationships aren't all they're made up to be. I think most are depressing to each other. I think the only time ive ever been in love was with the ugliest boy. i was 17, he was 19, had big feckles all over his body, buck teeth with spaces between them squared off, and a huge red birthmark that covered his entire left eye and eyebrow and a little over weight. i loved what was on the inside. if you aren't happy with the way you look and someone falls in love with you then you will know it is the real thing and not superficial like a lot of relationships that don't last. If you have or haven't seen one of the doctors, give it a try, if you've already seen one get a second opinion. Good luck, there is hope!

  4. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to say I understand your situation. I've also been fat my entire life and went through much of what you mentioned. Over the past 8 months I've gained 80 lbs. I can't find a job where I live (actually I did find ONE but it didn't work out), have no transportation and will probably be on disability soon for schizophrenia, depression and social anxiety. No friends, no job, no life. I'm a 25 year old high school drop out, 270 lb porker living a sedentary lifestyle in his mom's house that is afraid to even go outside anymore.

    Diets and pills and stuff never worked for me. I would love to go to the gym but because of my disorders I feel extremely out of place and deranged while I'm there (I hear voices). Is there a point to my existence? No, none that I can think of. I just sit at the computer all day and wish I was who I use to be. I was a humble, nice guy who made people laugh and smile at work. Now I feel like some type of big fat monster locked away in a dungeon.

    Despite the hurt it causes, I do understand why people make fun of fat people like myself. Obesity is becoming a worldwide epidemic yet that doesn't make it normal to be fat or obese. With food being so cheap and plentiful these days and all the processed and pre-cooked foods everywhere you look it is becoming more and more difficult to manage ones weight. From what I have read; most people no longer even know what the feelings of true hunger are anymore. Kind of sad really. So just so you know, you are definitely NOT alone.. the world is getting fatter by the minute.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2007
  5. tired_baer

    tired_baer Member


    Hang in there buddy. I know what you are going through. I was a chunkster and more or less a dork up until my senior year of high school and never dated. :tongue:

    It sounds like you have a body type that is tough to get the pounds off. Maybe it's time to try another doctor?

    If you want to give another workout a try, I highly recommend the book "Body for Life" by Bill Phillips. It requires working out with weights 3 days a week, and the other 3 days you do 20 minutes of cardio. It takes discipline, but it works. The best part is you get one day a week to totally pig out and eat anything you want! :tongue: If you want to chow down a whole lemon meringue pie, or kill a few beers with your buddies then go for it! Then it's back to business the next day, and you go back on the program.

    The Body for Life program works. I'm now a normal weight, and muscular. I'm married to a beautiful lady as well. If I can do it anybody can. I'm not telling you life is a bunch of roses. If it were, I wouldn't be hanging out here. While life will never be perfect, I have all the confidence in the world that you can make it at least a little better for yourself. Good luck!
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2007
  6. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    Being overweight is not who you are, there is more to you than your weight. It sounds like you have been forced to hide behind your weight because of a bunch of insecure assholes that you have encountered as a child and later in life. I know it is hard to regain your self esteem when people say shitty and mean things about obese people, but you know what, that is there problem, not yours.

    Also, I will share with you that losing weight will not solve all of your problems, even though you probably think it will. You will still be you, just your body will change. So, why wait until that happens? Why not take the first step to regaining your life and try something new? Call an old friend and go out. Join a club or group and meet someone new. You have to take baby steps in order for things to change, they won't change unless you want them to and are proactive about it. I can tell you are a smart and caring guy who is in a lot of pain, and justifiably so, but that does not mean you have to end your life. You can share with us your pain, and use it to transform your life in the ways that you want. Pain and anger can motivate you to take action even when it feels hopeless. You are not beyond hope. Believe in yourself.
  7. LaDesdichada

    LaDesdichada Member

    Hey bobby, my situation is really similar to yours (and lostmymind's ) i am overweight too and have become a recluse, my life is being ruined by my weight (among other things) and I feel suicidal because I feel powerless. Like you too I have been overweight all of my life, so I def know what it feels like. While each individual's experience is different, I think that we can help each other, don't give up yet. PM me, let's talk:)
  8. shadi_saleh

    shadi_saleh Active Member

    People make snide remarks because they are insecure about themselves. It doesn't reflect on you, it reflects on the kind of people they are.

    Unfortunately I don't know the exact reason why you are obese. It could be glandular, it could be genetics, it could be a high-calorie diet. The important thing is that you find a proper dietician and nutritionist to help guide your way through weight loss. But the most important thing you need to do is start looking at yourself in a positive light, and ratchet up your self-esteem.
  9. TranceAngel

    TranceAngel Well-Known Member

    it seems that food and emotions are so tightly wound together. we eat because we feel bad and we feel bad because we eat. i go through stages, overeating, then working out and getting slimmer, then eating again and so on. ultimately, i don't see an end to the merry go round, so i'm enjoying the ride. i am curious why the word 'xenical' contains a link to a pharmaceutical website. can anyone shed light on that?
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