overwhelmed, desperate, miserable

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Downhill, Dec 29, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Downhill

    Downhill Member

    I have chronic pain - physical pain. It keeps me from being able to do things I used to enjoy. My family rejected me. My friends are long gone. My landlord just kicked me out and I dont have the strength to pack up the years of shit I've accumulated. I've been fantasizing about ending it all for years, thinking things couldn't get worse. Well. They got worse.
     
  2. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. Where are you? (As in country). Are there any emergency shelters there?
    I'm sorry that you're in chronic pain, I know how wearing and exhausting that can be. Have you been prescribed any meds to help you cope?
    Do you know why your landlord has kicked you out?
     
  3. Downhill

    Downhill Member

    I am in the US. Yes I am on pain meds, but they only help so much. My landlord has said that I have attitude. I don't deny that, but I've been a very good tenant besides not being able to hide the fact that they are incredibly annoying. Regardless, now that I know what they think of me, being here will only increase my pain - the emotional type.
     
  4. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    It might be a good thing that you have to move then. Have you got somewhere else that you can live?
    Sometimes it does us good to be forced into change. It gives us a fresh start and new perspective.
    Have you spoken with your doctor about the depression and suicidal feelings?
     
  5. Downhill

    Downhill Member

    Due to my chronic pain, moving feels like a completely insurmountable task. I dont see how I will be able to do this, especially since I have absolutely nobody to help me. Even finding a new place to live causes me so much anxiety that I stop breathing for a moment when I think of it.

    My Pain Mgmt Dr is aware of my depression, but not the depths of it. I used to have a therapist, but I forgot an appt and she told me that if I missed another one, I would have to pay her entire hourly fee. I have brain fog and can't trust myself not to screw that up again, so I stopped seeing her. It really didn't help me anyway. I am not being irrational here, I logically think that the this would be the best decision for everyone involved.
     
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Right, one thing at a time, tackle the 'find a place to live' shelving everything else.
    Then, when found, look for a moving company that does the boxing up for you.
    One thing at a time at your pace and if the landlord don't like it the landlord can go suck eggs!
     
  7. Downhill

    Downhill Member

    it took me forever to find this place. So many things to take into consideration. I have been thinking about buying a home for a while, but I just dont think I can handle that stress. If renting, I can't look for a place yet. You don't have much of a window looking for a place, they don't stay open for very long. Wish I could just get someone to come in here and sell my crap, I have no need for the things here that I used to enjoy.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.