Overwhelmed with life..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by onlyone, Apr 6, 2008.

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  1. onlyone

    onlyone Member

    Hello, I'm writing this.. Because.. I feel like I'm losing my mind.. I'm currently 17 in high school. Just recently.. My girlfriend and I have been getting into a hell lot of problems.. For about 10 months.. All we've been having were dramas and problems that were hurting us.. Being a idiot I am there was a girl.. for 9 months who was my ex who kept trying to hold on, make me feel bad, and try to push me away from my girlfriend.. So .. After the problem was finally finished.. Another drama / problem is occuring.. Now my girlfriend has found some other guy who started to like her.. She began to like him and now seems they're closer than what I could imagine.. The reason why we got into a argument.. Was because she said I was too "clingy" and kept following her around.. Now it's like we barely see eachother.. I'm only needed when she needs me other than that I'm kicked to the side like I'm a nobody.. She told me to go away.. She dosen't want to see me anymore or even hear me.. Stressed out.. She called me later for like 2 mins and said she'd call me back.. I waited for a long time and no reply.. I gave her a promise to hold on but.. Right now it seems like for some reason she's acting like.. How my other Ex's treated me.. I feel like shit deep inside.. (excuse my language) and I'm dieing.. Why does it seem like she's the love of my life..? We've been through so much over these 10 months but.. It feels like we've been dating / known eachother our whole lives.. Right now.. I don't think she really cares.. I feel used and replaced.. I want to just die.. You know..? I'm failing my classes.. I can't even think.. It just feels like my only way out is to die.. Maybe do something right for once.. Because it seems I'm always doing something wrong in people's eyes..

    I'm sorry for wasting your guys time..
  2. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    It's never a waste of time to express how you feel. I'm sorry to hear things are going the way they are. Breakups/relationships are always a tricky thing. I remember when I was 15 there was a girl I liked - after that ended I just fell into a really deep depression and started failing all my classes too. Pretty much stayed that way till I dropped out and got my GED.

    What is the point of my post? lol. Just that I understand and there are people here who do also, I'm sure. My wife has told me I'm too "clingy" also. I just like spending my time with someone close to me. I have the need for a partner, soulmate, companion, etc.. I don't think that's her first priority though.

    My advice is, if you ever run across someone you like that feels the same way about you - likes you as much as you like them if not more and wants to spend all their waking hours with you - then you're good to go! take em.
  3. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Dear onlyone,

    Like saddude said, it is never wasting anyones time for you to express yourself. This is what the site is for, you dont need to apologise.

    Im sorry to hear that your girlfriend is messing you about. you dont deserve that, and it sounds like you have really had to fight to get this far, and im sorry.

    Just remember though, as hard as it seems now, there is a whole world outside of school , with amazing new people who wont treat you bad. Maybe you could give the world a little more time to impress you, there is so much good out there.

    In the meantime, have you been getting any help with how you feel? like seeing a doctor? it might help.

    be safe xxx
  4. onlyone

    onlyone Member

    i see... thank you for your guys advice it really helps a lot.. yesterday was a really bad feeling and emotion that was running thorugh my mind.. i haven't felt like that in a long time.. lol we got to talk for a little just a little ago she's going to call me back.. it's kinda hard i guess on her side? her friends don't like me.. after that whole drama.. 9 months is understandable =.= but.. idk it's like everyone makes mistakes right..? i mean if you change from it.. that's all that matters? it's funny.. she grew me into someone so mature.. and now she became who i was before..
  5. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    zomg, that sounds exactly almost like what's going on with me. I try to grow and change and take responsibility for our bills and help make our lives better, but it's a giant sudden change that's taking adjusting. I can only do so many things at once. Meanwhile my wife has been just... I dunno getting worse. She always seems so miserable and moody and weird. She used to be so bouncy and happy. Now she just seem self destructive and all her positive traits I used to admire seem to be turning into these twisted weird acts of malice. She's ultra sensitive to everything anyone says now, not just me.

    Our problems aside, I just noticed that she's snappy with everyone. Even her mother who she defended so much just recently.... I don't know what's wrong with her. :( My day's coming soon, this wednesday...

    I believe in God and that he'll vindicate me. But otherwise, I'm just hanging out with my family and laughing my ass of at my brother's crazy sense of humor. lol. At least there's that. And all the people on Suicide forums that I talk to occassional at MSN help. I feel surrounded by a lot of people who care. I think that's one of the first steps for really getting out of bad depression. I thank God for everyone who's been so positive and nice to me. I hope you find people like that too, onlyone. I also hope things work out for you and your girl.

    Your right, people make mistakes, and it sounds to me like you didn't really do anything that bad. If she's a good person, she'll be forgiving.

  6. onlyone

    onlyone Member

    wow that's pretty touching.. i'm glad you're still living though. least you have people to turn to also that's always very helpful that's funny.. same exact thing also like happy then some kind of depression i guess it's a change in life? maybe like.. experiencing many different things at once that are overwhelming im not too sure.. i'm sorry
  7. Ugly

    Ugly Active Member

    Just be glad you have a gf, and you aren't ugly
  8. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Ugly, I've read just about all of your recent posts and every single one seems to be belittling everyone else's problems on the basis that they are not ugly. I'm sorry you are suffering right now but please try to remember that everyone has their own issues to deal with, being attractive doesn't mean you can't feel pain.
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