im just curious ive never actually spoken to anyone before face to face or over the internet about this. but anyways whenever i am so angry or sad or depressed for whatever reason i almost go blind and rip myself up never on my wrists as i feel these are too hard to explain away though it has gotten to the point where half my body is covered in purple scars from years of abuse by myself. i have no idea why i get like this basically i have an awsome life and im even enjoying school and what not. i just dont get it is there anyway for me to stop myself cause i can barely look at myself in the mirror cause unless i wear a long sleeve shirt and long pants i look like i have some major disorder and sometimes i feel i do because 99% of the time im a happy eccentric out going guy i play rugby for my school i do everything i dont dislike anyone including myself. the only thing i feel that truly worries me is life itself i have attempted suicide twice before and im not afraid of death but how do i stop tearing myself up?